Entrepreneur Chick

I'm Flippin' Back!

2011-10-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

A site meter is a nifty device, folks.

Though I have not written since Febuary of this last year, I know I am still being read.
Therefore, I feel like I have an obligation to come back and let you know what's going on, my latest adventures (drama) and so forth.

Thank you for the additional follows too. When I am not posting from
my iPhone I shall follow you back.

More to come very soon!

Most likely tomorrow...

4 Black Men. 3 Weeks. What Problem?

2011-02-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

It's my intent to start being authentic and as transparent as possible these days, for there are other abused women behind me. If I hold out to them that once I left the abusers, life was somehow magically wonderful and just because by virtue of "the leaving", which everyone and their dog will tell you to do, somehow that very act makes everything okay.

It does not.

You got out of the abuse, right? Yes, you did, but a woman so effected still has very many confusing and unresolved emotional conflicts that do not take long at all to present themselves.

In my case, husband number two (who was a financial abuser, yet smooth as silk and lovely to live with) cleared the way for the entrance of (ex) husband number one (more of a classic abuser-really- not much creativity there) to 'help' me.

"I am here to tell you right now that I have known you since you were a little girl and you still have that same pride.

You need my help and you're going to take it!", read his text message.

Well I have known you since you were a impetuous, headstrong and reckless twenty two year old boy. I knew you had a raging drug and alcohol problem then, and furthermore, First Husband, you are not the same man I left twelve years ago.

You're even worse!

Even on the day I left (the abuse) I had 'him' in the background. Ty.

Ty is a fitness trainer and body builder. Good lord. He comes with a mighty full package.

I collapsed on the bed with no strength left to do anything other than to close the door and not speak to anyone for two days, decompressing from the washing machine my head had been in for four months from being around my first husband, who by this time, became quite proficient in a tactic designed to make you even more crazy called 'gaslighting'.

But I am gone for good now.

Finally I sleep.

The phone rings and it's my man. The only one I want to talk to right now. I tell him so.

Ty easily fits into the familiar script:

"But how is your day going, sweetheart?" I ask.

"Good. Good but I miss you. I want to come be with you and hold you, Marilisa. I think about it daily."

But poor Ty makes the unrequested blunder of sending a very revealing picture of himself via his cell.

Now let me tell you, this brotha's body is nothing short of perfection. I thoroughly enjoyed that! What's not to like?

However I quickly realize two key issues:

(1) Dude, that was completely inappropriate.

(2) Ty successfully elicited a response so powerful, that once in his arms, there would be no turning back.

I had no sexual relationship at all with my first husband. Several months had gone by since sleeping with my second.

That's a recipe for compromising any moral standards if I ever heard it.

The likelihood of a snow cone not melting in July and me not being able to stand up under that same kind of heat, is a deal even less sure than Charlie Sheen's continued sobriety. Not likely.

Ty must go.

Goodbye, Ty.

One day or so passes and now I have a new interest.

This is always my criteria:

Be black.

Be young.

Be intelligent.

Be sexy.

If you meet those qualifications, it's on.

My friend Tabitha connected me with one of her clients, Brad.

Brad is quite frankly, da bomb! Lucky me.

But at the same time I am enjoying Brad, I meet John.

I then develop such ridiculously strong feelings about this John, as in "yeah- I think I will marry that guy", to the extent I felt immense guilt on the very same level as a betrayal, if I go out with anyone other then John!

I explain this to Brad.

This new revelation leaves him rejected and confused, bruises his ego, something I can tell you right now that he is unaccustomed and does the only saving face thing he can think of which is to tell me, "Sure. That makes sense. I'm outta here!"

Brad must go.

Goodbye, Brad.

But John wants to 'discuss' something with me.

He doesn't drink. He doesn't want me to drink either.

I agree not to do it and give myself away just that easy.

I start our evening together already disgusted with myself.

No amount of a washboard stomach and massive arms could make up for the fact this guy is a controller and controlling, ultimately he would suffocate the life out of me!

But kiss me again and talk a little dirty one more time...

I just had way more fun hanging out with my girlfriend's teenagers last night, than my stupid date with John!

John must go.

Goodbye, John.

But the real insight that gave me such shockingly reflective pause came in the form of Jenny, the martini bar owner.

"Marilisa, John looks just like Tommy!", my ex.

This fact is apparent to others but opaquely veiled to myself.

I have come to the obvious conclusion that for the past few weeks I had been on a frantic mission to replace my ex!

But I had little time to think it over further as a new and improved guy appeared on my radar the very next day.

Devin made these other three aforementioned boyfriends look like inexperienced junior high boys awkwardly trying to figure out how to get a girl out of her bra.

Devin came with all the criteria and more, as if you were considering a house to buy and you find out it comes with a sunroom, wine cellar and gourmet kitchen at no extra cost!

Devin has two masters degrees, is a successful business owner, a mover and shaker in his field. A leader. Accomplished, smart and sexy. Just the way I like them.

So I am sure you already see the handwriting on the wall.

What do I do to screw this up?

Devin wants the whole weekend with me. His birthday weekend, no less. He said I could "be his present".

But I can't be his present because I already see the end of it before it begins.

I ain't nobody's booty call.

Plus I mention I "probably can't stay the night".

Devin must go.

Goodbye, Devin.

I am starting to see a clear pattern here. My ex was black, as far as I know, he still is.

When I see "black". my emotions, my intellect, my sexuality, interpret this information as "like him", who I dearly and passionately loved. I did not want this for us, the breakup.

But I have learned to ask myself this question- what kind of person are you married to that you have to protect yourself from?!

Luna pushes the grocery cart with me on an unremarkable Sunday afternoon. She looks at me intently with her bright, big, hazel blue eyes and says with an easy wisdom, "You can only be with someone if you know who your are, otherwise, you'll lose yourself."

I have indeed 'lost myself' to the mesmerization and enthrallment of who my ex pretended to be, not who he was.

I have indeed lost myself in Mr. Magic Replacement, only to be further disillusioned. Smoke and mirrors. That's all I have to show for the last month.

Furthermore, Luna is a writer. Sadly, I have become walking material.

She writes,

“I feel vague,” She thought to herself. But you must see that thoughts are creatures that like to take a hold of things fragile and make them into waves that erode away the sands of youth. Oh, and how this thought was a vile creature. It burrowed deep into the core of her heart and disrupted her life forevermore, simply because an idea had worked its way into her subconscious and became her own little tapeworm. Eating those tantalizing ideas that she wanted to believe but could never hold onto.

“I am lonely.” She told herself every night with teeth serrated."

I know what I need to do.

It's sort of like taking a deep breath and jumping into a swimming pool filled with ice.

To overcome the abject fear of being alone, I must be alone.

There's no other way.

PORNOGRAPHY EFFECT 101

2011-01-21T18:05:00.000-08:00

Following a heart wrenching break up of our nearly eleven year marriage, and after he ran our Chamber of Commerce award winning businesses into the ground, stole all my money and drove off in our only car on a sizzling hot summer afternoon in August while I was taking a nap, I experienced "an overwhelming and overpowering feeling of not being able to make sense of it"-which is what I logged in my journal four months later.

Throwing myself on the kitchen floor and sobbing uncontrollably, while these antics provided some emotional relief but horrified my dog- yet was I still left with an irreconcilable quandary.

If I could only make sense of what happened between my husband and I, then I could understand it.

If I could understand it, then I could deal with it.

In the same way a patient sees a doctor for a distressing physical symptom; the doctor is rendered powerless to treat that disease unless a DIAGNOSIS is first given.

What are we dealing with, exactly?

My dilemma seemed to be rooted in, why, why, why when we seemingly had so much going for us- could our relationship and life end up in such shambles?

True, I can never go back in time insomuch as to restructure a nanosecond and change even one singular event for the better- or force a different outcome- yet is my conviction that if I understand the dynamics of what happened: I can have an insurance policy shored up AGAINST that future time in which the same scenario will likely repeat itself- "I just met this wonderful man", leaving me devastated and heartbroken with the proverbial rug pulled out from under me yet again!

I, justifiably, have a real fear and concern I might inadvertently find myself years from now, in the same unpleasant situation. After all, I have racked up two husbands now- both addicts.

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." Albert Einstein

Einstein was certainly one of the sharper knives in the drawer and his take on a situation is fairly reliable.

"Many women do not evaluate themselves or their relationships," says Dr. Joyce Hamilton Berry, a clinical psychologist in the Washington, D.C., area. "Consequently, they do not recognize the similarities that attract them to certain types of men."

Dr. Berry explains that when a woman repeatedly chooses the wrong man, those bad choices attempt to fulfill "needs" that sometimes go back to the woman's childhood."

Furthermore she assets that,"People seemingly are drawn to a specific character type; until you learn what it is that keeps you boxed in, you are never going to be able to extricate yourself."

So this examination-diagnosis-on my part is born out of judiciousness, rather than sentimentality.

It is not out of longing for the relationship to be restored, for to restore such a twisted relationship would mean that I have no self respect at all- thinking I am no better than to be lied to, stolen from, and psychologically abused- this is emphatically not the case!

Our relationship was like an endless game of "go fish"; in vain did I try to match the other cards up to the face card that was showing- an impossible task.

The face card that was showing was "what he said", the other cards that never matched were "what he did".

What he SAID and WHAT HE DID, were not congruent.

It was as if you looked outside to determine the weather, finding a snowstorm of unprecedented magnitude, you opted for sandals and shorts!

So, doctor, what then, based on your stringent findings, would you say is the diagnosis?

PORNOGRAPHIC PROJECTED OBJECTIFICATION

This is a term I have coined myself, to the end that other women might get a handle on what, exactly, went down- because my situation is by no means unique and there are countless woman, girlfriends, wives, children, and employers left scratching their heads as to what in the world is wrong with this guy?!

It is my contention that Pornographic Projected Objectification is so prolific as to be staggeringly common. You know, similar to air- everybody pretty much breathes it.

If you expect me to escalate my theory of PPO,to the tenor of a puritanically snubbed wife, with nothing but theological arguments against the wrongness of porn and a few dog-eared Bible passages- although I certainly could- having graduated from Moody Bible Institute School of External Studies-"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9- consider these facts:

"At a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces in the past year, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago." (Divorcewizards.com)

As of 2003, there were 1.3 million pornographic websites; 260 million pages (N2H2, 2003).

The total porn industry revenue for 2006: $13.3 billion in the United States; $97 billion worldwide (Internet Filter Review).

U.S. adult DVD/video rentals in 2005: almost 1 billion (Adult Video News).

Hotel viewership for adult films: 55% (cbsnews.com).

Unique worldwide users visiting adult web sites monthly: 72 million (Internet Filter Review).

Number of hardcore pornography titles released in 2005 (U.S.): 13,588 (Internet Filter Review).

Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction: 10%; 28% of those are women (Internet Filter Review).

More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).

More than 20,000 images of child pornography posted online every week (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03).

Approximately 20% of all Internet pornography involves children (National Center for Mission & Exploited Children).

100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography (U.S. Customs Service estimate).

As of December 2005, child pornography was a $3 billion annual industry (Internet Filter Review).

I am, at my very core an entrepreneur; a business person.

Two very obvious things jump out.

1. There is a DEMAND for pornography.

2. There is a SUPPLY of pornography.

Yet it is neither demand nor supply that is of any consequence.

Instead, I am interested in the effect of it's use.

When one is a heroin addict, no one delves deeply into the molecular structure of what heroin is comprised.

We are merely concerned with heroin's effect on a life- and not the heroin itself.

EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY'S USE

In a well balanced, thoughtfully written piece for the United Kingdom's "The Guardian", writer Edward Marriott investigates, "What does porn do to men?"

First Marriott lays the traditional groundwork of proliferation:

"In the US, with the pornography industry bringing in up to $15bn (£8.9bn) annually, people spend more on porn every year than they do on movie tickets and all the performing arts combined. Each year, in Los Angeles alone, more than 10,000 hardcore pornographic films are made, against an annual Hollywood average of just 400 movies."

Marriott further writes: "There is a widespread sense that anyone who suggests pornography might have any kind of adverse effect is laughably out of touch. Coren and Skelton, former Erotic Review film critics, focus on their flip comic narrative, scarcely troubling themselves with any deeper issues. "In all our years of watching porn," they write, in a rare moment of analysis that doesn't get developed any further, "we have never properly resolved what we think about how, why and whether it is degrading to women. We suspect that it might be. We suspect that pornography might be degrading to everybody."

As for the extent of my own husband's addiction, he once told me that he's been evicted from his home choosing to spend his last money on pornography, a want, and not shelter, a need.

Obviously this thinking is not born out of sane logic, but of irrational logic, as addicts are not known, by their nature, to be bastions of rational thought.

Please bear in mind that I am not talking about a person who has a casual relationship with porn. I am talking about an ADDICT.

What is an addict's most pressing obsession? SUPPLY.

Anything, and I do many anything, that stands between an addict and his supply, must be what?

Must be SACRIFICED.

So if I had money that could keep the supply coming, he stole it.

If I had assets that would boost consumption, he borrowed against them- secretly.

If I had employees that needed to be paid, he rather, paid himself first and wrote them hot checks.

If I had clients deserving a service, he instead, took their money but called on the date of the event to tell them, graciously, that he "could not be there", but would be "by on Monday to refund their money"- according to the Better Business Bureau's complaint, Monday never came.

Wife, kids, job, business, reputation- does not matter. All will eventually be placed on the sacrificial alter of "supply".

One third of the way through his article, Marriott drops the big bomb on every one's mind:

"Yet what about the millions who consume pornography, the men - for they are, despite pornographers' claims about growing numbers of female fans, mostly men - who habitually use it? How are they affected? Is pornography, as most these days claim, a harmless masturbatory diversion?"

In a moment of candidness, the writer provides us with a vulnerable glimpse of his own use of pornography:

"For most men, at some point in their lives, pornography has held a strong appeal and, before any examination of its effects, this fact has to be addressed. Like many men, I first saw pornography during puberty. At boarding school, dog-eared copies of Mayfair and Knave were stowed behind toilet cisterns; this borrow-and-return library system was considered absolutely normal, seldom commented upon and either never discovered by the masters or tacitly permitted. Long before my first sexual relationship, porn was my sex education.

No doubt (though we'd never have admitted it then) my friends and I were driven to use porn through loneliness: being away from home, we longed for love, closeness, unquestioning acceptance. The women over whom we masturbated - the surrogate mothers, if you like - seemed to be offering this but, of course, they were never going to provide it. The untruths it taught me on top of this disappointment - that women are always available, that sex is about what a man can do to a woman - I am only now, more than two decades on, finally succeeding in unlearning."

It is safe to say that men who are addicted porn find themselves vacillating between two lands- the reality of what a woman is- one who has hopes and dreams and parents and ate two pieces of toast with strawberry jam for breakfast that day, is worried about keeping the electricity on and earning enough money for her children's daycare- and the antithesis porn-fantasy woman has no such affections, silly you, and is but hot n horny and ready to please.

Women then, in this fantasy world, must first be dehumanized before they can be used; and it only stands to reason, men who use them, must first be dehumanized as well.

It is clear to me that my husband was himself, first a victim- after which he then victimized me; a trickle down effect, if you will.

Victims are victimized themselves, the abused become the abusers; hurt people, hurt people.

In a most shocking interview, a male porn star, no longer in the industry, was asked to describe ways in which he was treated while on the set.

As he explained the humiliating regimen that he was subjected to go through to produce the all important climax shot at the end, a distinct and palpable change came over his countenance. This poor man was visibly reduced to holding back bitter tears.
"I was treated like an animal", he said softly.

It's all too easy to see the humiliating effects of pornography on women, to the exclusion of the suffering on the part of the men.

Everyone is dehumanized. Make no mistake. Everyone.

EMBRACING THE LIE

Marriott goes on to make a revealing point-

"Pornography, in other words, is a lie. It peddles falsehoods about men, women and human relationships. In the name of titillation, it seduces vulnerable, lonely men - and a small number of women - with the promise of intimacy, and delivers only a transitory masturbatory fix. Increasingly, though, men are starting to be open about the effect pornography has had..."

Willful suppression of the truth only then leaves room in one's life to then, predictably, embrace the false.

Is it really any great surprise that the rest of the addict's life is merely the living and acting out of that requisite untruth?

This can explain how, as the cycle continued and became ever more central and necessary, lie upon lie had to be told.

First there is the lie- are you looking at porn again?

And then a lie had to be told about the lie, and so on and so on.

It's as if the addict begins to see himself and those around him, in an endlessly distorted, maniacally cruel, fun house mirror. The horrible paradigm shift is complete.

"False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil." Socrates

One of the most damaging aspects of our relationship, which I had told him in many a fight regarding his use of porn and the financial disaster that would surely follow was-

"How could you look in my face day after day and lie?!"

And I also stated, "For me to stay in this relationship with you means that you are asking me to believe lies!"

LOOKING AT THE WORLD THROUGH THE MURKY LENS OF PORN

Marriott makes his conclusion:

"Even when in a loving sexual relationship, men who have used porn say that, all too often, they see their partner through a kind of "pornographic filter". This effect is summed up eloquently by US sociologist Harry Brod, in Segal's essay Sweet Sorrows, Painful Pleasures: "There have been too many times when I have guiltily resorted to impersonal fantasy because the genuine love I felt for a woman wasn't enough to convert feelings into performance. And in those sorry, secret moments, I have resented deeply my lifelong indoctrination into the aesthetic of the centrefold."

This is my point exactly- Pornographic Projected Objectification!

I view it- the pornography- I project it- the pornography.

I look at nothing, not cognitively, not even consciously, without donning my porn goggles first.

Let me be blatantly honest- if you were to ask a woman what it's like to have sex with a porn addict, they would tell you that there is a "disconnect"' during sex. While their partner is present in body, they are simultaneously elsewhere, for in the porn addict's mind, the retrieval of pornographic images is a must. They have literally chemically conditioned their sexual response to ultimately only obey that stimuli.

PORNOGRAPHY'S CHEMICALLY ALTERED BRAIN

In Donald L. Hilton Jr's article entitled, "Slavemaster-How Pornography Drugs & Changes Your Brain" he writes,

"Pornography is a visual pheromone, a powerful, $100 billion per year brain drug that is changing human sexuality by “inhibiting orientation” and “disrupting pre-mating communication between the sexes by permeating the atmosphere,” especially through the internet. I believe we are currently struggling in the war against pornography because many continue to believe two key fallacies:

Fallacy No. 1: Pornography is not a drug.

Fallacy No. 2: Pornography is therefore not a real addiction.

In the center of the brain is the nucleus accumbens. This almond-sized area is a key pleasure reward center, and when activated by dopamine and other neurotransmitters, it causes us to value and desire pleasure rewards. Dopamine is essential for humans to desire and value appropriate pleasure in life. Without it, we would not be as incentivized to eat, procreate, or even to try to win a game.

It’s the overuse of the dopamine reward system that causes addiction. When the pathways are used compulsively, a downgrading occurs that actually decreases the amount of dopamine in the pleasure areas available for use, and the dopamine cells themselves start to atrophy, or shrink. The reward cells in the nucleus accumbens are now starved for dopamine and exist in a state of dopamine craving, as a downgrading of dopamine receptors on the pleasure cells occurs as well. This resetting of the “pleasure thermostat” produces a “new normal.” In this addictive state, the person must act out in addiction to boost the dopamine to levels sufficient just to feel normal."

As the desensitization of the reward circuits continues, stronger and stronger stimuli are required to boost the dopamine. In the case of narcotic addiction, the addicted person must increase the amount of the drug to get the same high. In pornography addiction, progressively more shocking images are required to stimulate the person."

These facts deeply wound the spouse. How can she even begin to compete with very real chemical changes in her partner's brain, let alone ignore the intense level of betrayal and subsequent rejection? The answer is, she can not.

Towards the end of our relationship, my husband could not even bring himself to have sex with me because he had already gotten all his pleasure and chemical fix from porn. A real woman doesn't "do it"' anymore.

According to one website dedicated to helping those effected by the partner's use of pornography, a hallmark sign of addiction is this:

"Your sexual life has dwindled, or is dead. You may find that your partner is no longer initiating sex."

"And, last we checked," writes a woman regarding her husband's porn use, "being committed to a relationship meant finding ways to exercise your independence in a way that didn't make your partner weep."

As for me, I am resolved to no longer cry on a kitchen floor.

Stop Smoking Now! 3 Steps;Guaranteed

2011-01-03T10:50:00.000-08:00

I am appalled that I, like probably millions of other Americans, on this fine New Year's week, join the shameful ranks of repentant smokers.

Smoking. Me?

It's like saying, "Hey, did you hear Entrepreneur Chick robbed a bank with two hostages she kidnapped from daycare while she was high on crystal meth?"

I would never do that!

Uh huh; and I would never smoke.

Hide the coke and the toddlers.

But let a life crisis hit you that's big enough to knock you right down to your knees, and then we'll just see if you light up or not.

Don't sit over there and be so judgmentally smug.

It's flat unattractive.

My crisis is over now. A thing of the past.

There is no good reason to continue smoking and I know it.

No excuse.

January first rolls around and I have to do the most logical thing at the most logical time.

I am smoke free, people!
Three days and counting.

Here's how I did it.

(I'd charge for this but it's just stupid easy.)

STEP ONE:

Maintain the very same habits you did while you smoked.

Did you step outside to smoke? Go outside.

I only smoked outside. Hopefully you do too.

STEP TWO:

Take a cigarette out there with you.

I know, right?

Aren't you supposed to be avoiding that, and yet I am asking you to grab one anyhow?

STEP THREE:

Light your cigarette with your pretend lighter and mimic all the same movements as when you smoked.

This is a powerful trick and it works!

Light up.

Ahhhh.

Inhale.

Blow the smoke out.

Watch it disappear into the cold January air.

Repeat.

Here is the key reason why this method will work for you.

Smoking is a habit.

Use the same habit to STOP!

2 Irrepressible, Unshakable Truths About Business

2010-11-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know if ceiling cat exists- but I do know this does.

The two irrepressible and unshakable truths about business, any business are:

(1) There will always be a marketplace.

(2) There will always be a market trend.

Okay, so?

So- no matter what crazy and silly and far fetched product or service you may have; I can guarantee you there's a market for it out there somewhere!

How about some of these ideas:

Notice how it even has air holes? Clever!

Totally have to have one of these.

Once a month believe me, neither you or I, will need a Mood Ring to let you know what sort of nasty disposition I have. But, if you don't like it, go fly one of these:

(Who would have thought to blow up a kite?)

And now for something I can and do really use:

When I am on the yacht, it's a very long walk from the marina to the shore so Eliot, my loyal and loving Yorkie who everyone in the entire universe loathes but me; can do his business.

Everyone was skeptical about how this was going to work out; she said,

"Yeah right. Eliot will pee near or close by but not actually on that stupid thing."

Well, ha. Eliot did pee where he was supposed to go- and for that nifty convenience, Potty Patch makers, I thank you.

I also purchased him some of these:

But Eliot told me that it's "too complicated" and he'll have to "look over the manual".

That stupid hound didn't get this device at all!

(But the makers certainly got my credit card numbers, rest assured.)

It's what you know about the market place and what you know about the trend that's going to be the ultimate determiner of your success.

More about knowing the market place and market trends next time...

My Secret Life

2010-11-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

"When you're talking about your family, you always say- 'my family member', you never identify anyone by name, you never give anyone a title such as my uncle or my brother, you just say, 'my family member'- I have never heard anyone do that."

This single life thing rocks, I'll have you know.

Why I did not discover this before is beyond me.

I come and go as I please. I see who I want and who I don't.

No one knows anything more than I let them- and I won't let them.

Compartmentalization works best for me and no one choking and controlling the life out of me does too.

How does she say, "Try to control me and boy you get dismissed"? Beyonce.

("Independent Woman")

Yet there is a business principle here-

Do not, I repeat, do not put all your business out in the street if you are in business!

Don't carry on about your children, your husband, your unwashed laundry and your carpooling responsibilities.

When I'm talking to some chick at a function and she 'owns' a business and she starts rattling on about such matters- there is honestly only one thing that I am thinking- want to know what it is?

Unprofessional.

Shut the eff up!

I'm going to tell you outright because that person painfully listening to you, smiling sweetly over their glass of wine and hor dourves is never going to do it.

When you own a business, be about that and that only- business.

And what of your business?

THEN it's yours.

THEN we respect you.

THEN we believe you.

THEN we might even buy something.

Holla.

Happy Birthday 2 me- Sociopath FREE!

2010-10-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

I bet he was sweating it.

Last year, we stopped by the pet store on my birthday and I fell in love with the sweetest little Yorkie puppy girl you ever saw.

My first reaction, after all the gaa gaa, was that I could never do this to Eliot.

Eliot would come unglued if I dared bring another dog, let alone another Yorkie, into his domain.

However, I was still willing to write a check.

I started asking classic buying questions-

"How much?"

"Twelve hundred dollars."

"Are you guys crazy?" I asked the Petland employee.

Little did I know, I had no twelve hundred dollars in my personal business account.

He started stealing money out of there as soon as it would be deposited!

Electronic paper trails don't lie.

I applaud them for this.

A well articulated article came in my email and I thought it appropriate to share with you today, as today is a victory for me to celebrate a life event and know what's going on- you know- like a normal person would!

Commenting on Donna Anderson's book about her entanglement and subsequent marriage to a sociopath, the reviewer observes:

This will make sober reading for sociopath victims as we turn the pages it becomes apparent just how much we might not know about our own sociopath’s predatorial web of deceit and lies we are oblivious to. But ultimately, no matter how slick and manipulative the predator is, it all ends in failure – as like all sociopaths Montgomery’s actions are typical of the sociopath’s life long death spiral into oblivion and decay.

As an entrepreneur, I'm about winning.

Here's the score:

I win.

YOU lose.

Shameless Rambling of Yours Truly 2

2010-10-16T04:15:00.000-07:00

There's no plot. There's no ultimate direction. It's Celeste writing what's up. I want to know- how's school? How's da mens? How's the group of friends of yours that I honestly think you're a little too good for, but you don't, so what can I do?

Here's mine. Ramblings. Whatever. No plot. No direction. I'm going to say it and put it out there. Shocking? I don't know. Probably not- maybe so- but I'd never, ever say so in person.

The dreams: tornado. You know, for years. All the time- I see the clouds- ominous, thickening, darkening. I know it's coming. The clouds start to spin- that spiral- oh yeah, here we go! So I tell them, (they change all the time, the people, the location) it's getting close! We all take cover. Here it comes! Devastation. I live through it every single time. Sometimes I'm sick of surviving.

Reoccurring: I wake up married to him- AGAIN! Not him, him. My first husband. Keep up. And so what if I do? You don't pay my bills.

Reoccurring: I can't find him. Where is he? I get that sickening feeling in my stomach; it's over. When I really can't find him and he really leaves- I don't look. I don't call.
I don't care.

Only once: I try to turn on the lights. Nothing. I try and I try to flick the switch to the 'on' position and I simply can't do it. Now I know. I knew I was in the dark and was trying, in vain, to shed light on the situation- more specifically, your lies.

Me: I can do whatever the hell I want!

Her: Yeah, you can. But do you not see how doing 'whatever the hell you want' ends up badly? Ends up like this?!

Me: Well, I'm going to therapy.

Her: Soooo, you must be cured now if you are going to therapy! See, I'm not crazy anymore, I'm going to therapy!

I laugh in spite of myself. She always wins.

My current ethereal obsession?

Febreze Brazilian Carnaval room spray.

Independence.
If I went to the carnival in Brazil, I'd be independent.

He tells me over lunch- "This is what John said about you- he said that 'Marilisa's a lot of fun and a really good dancer."

If you want to be with me? You've gotta have this:

Mental acuity.

So I'm fun and I can dance- doesn't matter. If you're a lump on a stump, don't care how good looking you are, it's not going to happen. John Hopkins could save you.

Now I understand what Chloe says:

"You gotta have that cha cha."

No cha cha? Then baby, there's nothing!

What do I really want to do?

Just being in this music video and wearing one of those smokin' hot costumes today would be enough.
I could master the choreography in about twenty minutes.
Fifteen, if I had a sugar free Rock Star.

Then- all problems would be solved.
I'd be too sexy and distracted to notice, don't you think?
The end.

How Public Schools in America KILL the Entrepreneurial Spirit

2010-10-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

"Yeah, so the assistant principle called this morning."

"Why?"

"Well, he had a lock on his locker at school."

"Okay."

"Locks aren't allowed."

"So, you can't lock anything in your locker?"

"Right."

But why did the child in my family feel it necessary to place a lock on his locker?

Because, the little visionary had two vitally important commodities in there!

(1) Money!

(2) Merchandise!

Unlike most kids, when this nine year old came across several trinkets Entrepreneur Chick had left over from her company- bouncy balls, balloons, pencils- that sort of thing- rather than just think himself lucky for the score- this kid saw an opportunity.

The opportunity?

He correctly surmised that these were some pretty valuable items out on the playground.

He then becomes an informal sales representative for whatever doo dad he can get his hands on!

Sure, he starts with my stash, but he quickly learns how to re-invest his earnings and buy more assets.

He also learns how to invest in assets and up charge, making the deferential, which in turn, gives you the profit; giving you the cash flow.

Cash flow is king and does he ever know it.

Apparently he's paying attention when I've been teaching him about business.

I also teach him, "You don't start anything with anyone. BUT if someone starts something with you- you make sure you finish it. Got me, kid?"

But now, he finds himself in hot water with the school.

No locks on the locker- that I can understand.

But to tell the kid he can't sell at school?

Excuse me?

I have a little time on my hands before I start to rock and roll again.

(Gotta get the d-i-v-o-r-c-e.)

So, you know, a little skirmish with the school sounds like something I might be interested.

Also sounds like something the American Civil Liberties Union would be interested.

Let's get this straight:

A nine year old can not sell anything on the playground BUT it is perfectly okay for the same kid and the entire student body population, to dutifully take catalogs home to parents, parent's co-workers, cousins, aunts, uncles, ex wives, etc. and any one who can generally fog a mirror- to the end that the school may be subsidised- because we know for sure that property taxes, federal funding, bonds, and even the lottery

ain't cuttin' it!

Oh, thou wonderful child! Sell for thy state.

Oh, thou evil child! Sell not for thy self.

Amongst That Discarded by Housewives

2010-10-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

It was disappointing. The one time I tried to find a good book to read there- a library where I served on the board of directors- I was met with more mainstream gunk than Michael Crichton, Tom Clancy, or Stephen King could shake an angry spatula.

Ordinary.

Novels donated (discarded) by listless, unsatisfied, sexually inhibited housewives is my take on the whole lot of it.

Everything is about sex to me. I just don't say so.

But not that housewife you see up there. No.

That's my type of housewife!

I'm thinking this chica might be reading something I'd find interesting.

And so, there it is was. Pure gold. "My Grandfather's Finger" by Edward Swift.

You know if the cover of a book features a progenitor's severed finger in a pickle jar- it's going to be good.

Right now I'm in the mood for such a book again.

I'm alone in the house. Everyone's at a party that everyone's glad I didn't go to given my behavior a few nights ago- a little too much- if you know what I mean. Ooops.

Alas! Nothing but business books, business books, business books.

(yawn)

Therefore, I will tell you a little bit about Jess. My grandfather.

Just a bit. I've written more.

One of the wonderous things he could do was call doodle bugs.

Stooping low to the ground he'd gently call- "Doodle bug, doodle bug, doodle bug?", immediately came they forth!

I'm fairly certain the secret is in saying it the third time.

I tell stories about them- those before me, to a certain two year old in my family.

Sometimes we will be sitting on the porch and she'll look over at me from her garden chair and she will mournfully say: "Poor Maud!"

"Oh, yes." I say back. "Poor Maud!"

I further exclaim- "She got old."

She parrots-"She got old."

"She died."

"Poor Maud!"

And then we add a little 'tisk" with our tongues, accentuating the fact that it was such a shame- and shake our heads with sorrow.

She doesn't know that in the final years of Maud's husband's life, he was so ill from alcohol with drawl, that he found laudanum an extreme necessity- until one fine morning when he woke, took a few steps across the bedroom floor and announced- "I don't feel very good today", and then dropped dead in front of a certain twelve year old who never forgot it.

But back to the two year old- upon taking her out of her highchair for meals- "martini"- she points to the retro print on the wall.

And then she adds with all the sass and attitude she can muster- "Make mine dirty!"

But she can't really pronounce "dirty" correctly so it comes out more like "ditty".

"Make mine ditty!"

Though I didn't teach her; she flips her long brown hair to the side for further effect.

That's my girl.

You tell 'em, kid.

In the Spirit of Susan- on the Street Where I Live

2010-09-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

So she says, "I need to tell you about last week when I had both a butterfly and a dragonfly on my finger in the same day. They were both trapped in my house at different points, and I freed them.

I need to tell you about dreaming of a sugarlaced lemon tree so glorious that gazing up into it was like eating the sun."

Yes, yes, yes- tell me about these things. I need to know. I can't stand the ordinary anymore. I can't stand my life anymore. Write. You write. Come back. Sensual, delightful Susan. I'm listening. Go on...

"I need to tell you about the lessons bats have been trying to teach me about surrender and rebirth, about echolocation, in which bats navigate in the dark by using their voices to create sounds that reverberate off objects - the ability to see with the ears, to hear with the voice. Because by telling you, I have a greater chance of really learning the lessons, internalizing and integrating them. I too hear with my voice. I learn by teaching."

Susan concludes- "And now, just by writing all this, I feel lighter, happier, inspired, free. It occurs to me that this post follows a similar structure to some of the biblical psalms that start out with a lament and end with praise because by writing the lament the psalmist has seen the joy again.

Now I see that the writing I haven't been doing had hardened around me like ice, that scraps of light left unshared leave me cold, and once that happens, I have to write into the cold to break through it.

The fire must be tended or it dies out. The fire must be fed, and for me that means writing it."

She's very brave. Braver than me. I write about those things practical in nature- or I had, mostly. Business. As usual.

Now that he's gone, I see there's so much I'd stuff. Push down. Not say. Inappropriate. Scandalous. So what? What have I got to lose anymore, exactly? Nothing. That's what.

This is where I live.

The house is old. How old I do not know. Perhaps from the late '40s. Early '50s.
How many Christmases? How many excited parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, lovers have rung the bell here on that day; arms loaded with gifts- and turkey and pumpkin and cinnamon floating sweetly from the kitchen on chill December air? I can not tell.

Deaths. Disappointments. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Love. It all happened right here- sometimes at night I feel their ghosts, and sometimes when I'm standing on the porch in mid afternoon. I think of them. They don't know me, but I know them.

The old woman has lived sixty years here- across the street and two doors down, a tidy red brick home- a pristine grey Crown Victoria- warns me after I say, "Well, I'm not afraid."

"Now honey, you need to be afraid. Don't talk to them. Crack houses you know. Mmm. Yes."

So tells me of her son's orphanage in west Texas, or was it east? "I don't tithe to my church. No. I give my money to the children because I know that that money is going into starving little mouths. Mmmm."

The white picket fence that wraps forlornly around the drive is missing two boards.
I'll fix that. Yeah. Someday I'm going to pick up those two boards and fix that.

The trees form a melancholy arch over the same rock drive when it rains- and when it snows, as it sometimes snows in Texas, looks just like a picture from my book as a child- "The Snow Queen".

Pigeons congregate on the high telephone wires in the backyard- looking down on our affairs here in a rather judgemental fashion if you ask me.

Yeah? Well guess what? I hear in New York City they call you "rats with wings" so what do you think of that?

Yellow jackets built a lively, threatening nest above the door of the detached garage, permanently swung open- glass broken- I didn't do it, it was HIS fault! Why are you always blaming me? God! So defends the indignant nine year old. What are we going to do about the bees? I don't know what to do about the bees. I have enough to worry about without worrying about these damn bees. Wait. Let me worry about the bees.

El Mariachi Terry's Super Macado is the grocery store. What does "macado" mean? Does it mean "stinky"? Because it certainly is. Oddly, I don't mind. The salsa music blasting from invisible stereos strategically placed all over the store make me happy and lift my downcast spirits- I dance in the isles when no one's looking. Sometimes I dance when they are. Afterall, I know how to salsa.

We fight about racial issues.

"Put those ugly ass light up jelly shoes BACK!" she yells at me.
"Why? We are hispanics now, we like this sort of thing."

"Can you go back to your school and tell them that we do not speak spanish in this house, that you are only half hispanic and you don't know a word of it, and not to send letters home written in only Spanish?"

But the school compromises. One side of the marquee is in Spanish, and the other, English. Yet on Friday I only counted three white kids in the cafeteria as I ate with Tito. I don't believe they need to bother, do you?

"So Eliot", she sarcastically says to my Yorkie, "Welcome to the barrio. Your little "prince" dish doesn't fit in here quite so much now, does it?"

The physics mathematician lives catty corner to us in a white frame house, sturdy on it's high concrete foundation. He will give the kids a dollar if they can correctly solve a math problem.

Word is he had a big fight with his girlfriend. Doors lock. She's screaming in her bra and panties. Father comes to collect her in the middle of the night.

He tells me, "I was putting so much time into that relationship, I couldn't get anything else done."
"A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage," I say. He doesn't know I know about the bra and panties.

"Yes! Yes, that's so true! Would you like to get together for a drink?"
I would. But I don't want to be outside in my bra and panties so I'm going to watch myself.

The recycle guy comes by every other week, Mondays, in his big green truck.

Oh no! I've forgotten to put out our container! We have to recycle. Otherwise the regular trash is going to fill up far too fast and breed maggots. Charming.

I rush outside in my genuine diamond tiara.

"As you can clearly see- I am the queen. Could you please back up and collect my bin?"
"Oh, I can see that! Is it your birthday?"
"No."
He freezes. He smiles. He doesn't know what to say back.
She's crazy. That's what she is, she's crazy.

Well of course I'm fucking crazy. You would be too if you just had the week I had.

I throw myself down on the kitchen floor, crying inconsolably. I think of Amy Winehouse- i cry for you on the kitchen floor- i told ya i was trouble- you know i'm no good.

Can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't function. Gripping fear. It's gone. It's back.

Take a walk. That's what you need to do.
But damn it!
I run and scream.
The boys down the street in the Mexican gang; colors and tatoos, walk past me.
Obviously I'm trying out maneuver that stupid ass bee, that lives in that stupid ass bush.

"BEE!" I exclaim to them.
(See, the recycle guy thinks I'm crazy but I'd rather you guys not think so.)

"Shit." they say.
"No shit." I say back.

What? I can hang. I've got some swagger of my own, you know. I can out salsa and out merengue and out cha-cha and out samba all of you, so don't try me. I knew who Daddy Yankee was before you did, I'd bet. I might look white but I ain't. Gasolina!

I'm mad at everybody. Them. The bee. At myself for always chosing badly.

The police visit their house with a high degree of frequency because they sniff, I hear, some sort of inhalants that can freeze their lungs. Now I feel sorry for them that I was angry. I feel sorry for them that they are probably going to die because they don't know better. Maybe I should have a talk with them.

I didn't know he was over. I stepped out of the bath into the hallway in my towel. He's there. I'm there. Awkard. The neighbor next door. They let him in. I didn't.

Let me tell you. Sexy. Darling. Buff. We talk about camping and the best sleeping bags- yes I like Coleman- do you? And what can we do about those bees in the backyard?
He lingers. I linger.

Okay. Let me get this straight. So now you want to sleep with neighbor? Can you be anymore cliche?

Besides, I started smoking three weeks ago and that's probably enough damage to close the month out with. Yeah. I know. But he's really cute. He admirably beat a crystal meth addiction- and when I run out of cigarettes I can not go next door to ask, because they guy doesn't smoke! See what a rat you are? He doesn't even smoke and you do.

I tell Alex at the Quick Pak Wine and Beer store that I fully intend to quit on October first.

"Oh? How long you've been smoking?", he inquires in his cute accent.
"Three weeks."
"Why you start?"
"Stress."
"Stress? I lost mother, father, five family members in an accident. I no smoke."
"Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear that. You're makin' me look bad, Alex."

This remains my favorite. The morning. Black coffee. Back porch. Deep blue autumn sky- light up. Aaaah. That's better. Man. This is great. I love to smoke. It's so enjoyable, I see now why people do it. Leave the president alone. He's running the country for crap sake. If he needs to smoke to think more clearly, than by god let him do it!

I'm in an official minority. I will defend my rights. I will vote against your stupid smoking ban. Well, have you tried it? What do you know?

But I must quit in October like I said I would, or otherwise I will only be a liar. What am I going to tell Alex? He lost his family, you wretch, and he doesn't smoke.

Maybe I'll sleep with the neighbor.

My Lamentable Tale of Unfortunate Events, OR- How to Recognize and Stop Financial Abuse in a Most Delusional Marriage

2010-09-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

Let me start with some show and tell. Didn't you always enjoy that in school?

Well, I did.

And it goes something like this:

In this particular scenario, I am actually the father you see there to the right.

That's me.

I'm having a real WTF?!!! moment.

This brings us to Monday morning, March 8th, 2010.

I have two family members visiting us.

The electricity is turned off.

"It's okay," I assure him, "I have money to pay for this."

And it went through his eyes;

No you don't. You don't have any money. I stole it all.

He didn't have to say a word.

"WHAT?! YOU STOLE ALL MY MONEY?!"

And now the whole house of cards begins crashing down.

Signs of Financial Abuse

Controlling the finances.

Withholding money or credit cards.

Receiving an allowance.

Being held accountable for every penny spent.

Money being taken against the will.

Using the spouse's assets for personal benefit.

Withholding basic necessities.

Preventing a partner from working or choosing a career.

Sabotaging place of employment. (Forcing the partner to miss work or repeated calling to the place of employment, etc.)

It's not easy to admit, I- the great and mighty and capable Entrepreneur Chick, am an abused woman.

The victim of abuse.

Me?

Incredulous.

But the sad fact is that I have been victimized for sure.

Yet the good news is that though I have been victimized:

I am NOT going to walk in being a victim.

I am writing to you today, not as an abused wife, but as a dispassionate business partner who, rest assured, will protect her interests!

You see fraud is both a civil and criminal offense.

The unauthorized use of your debit card or credit card is punishable under the law.

Translated: You're goin' down, dude.

Stealing my money I saved for months in my own personal business account, a business that he did not create nor was he involved, is just the tip of the whole financial iceberg.

My banker said, "Girl, get in here and close these accounts- he's robbing you blind."

MY BANKER!

Exactly how bad does it have to be that your banker would freak out?

Sure enough, I asked for a copy of all my bank records:

What did I see?

Large cash with drawls- where did the money go? You tell me-

second liens on our car of which I knew nothing about.

And always:

Insufficient funds, insufficient funds, insufficient funds; charges over and over and over.

Why did I not know this before you ask?

I was not allowed to check our bank accounts.

I was not allowed to check the mail.

I was not allowed to handle cash.

I was not allowed.

That's what "he" did, and I let him do it.

Why did I let him do it?

I trusted him.

Big, huge, fat, honking mistake.

When I was sick, I was not allowed to go to the doctor.

He'd try to treat my illness first at home- only if it got very serious would he take me.

He would take me.

I did not drive.

Dependence. Make 'em dependent.

But this is the dichotomy of the whole deal.

Sociopaths do not hook up with weak women.

He got with me because I'm strong.

I know how to get things done.

In me he saw, "Gosh- if I'm with her, I can probably have all the things I could never get on my own."

I was a mark. Not a mate. There's an enormous difference.

I got him to the board of directors of a chamber of commerce.

No way could he pull that off singularly.

The only reason he's survived in the world thus far, is to align himself with some woman and hold on for dear life until he's played her all out and used her all up- and then:

moving on!

Next!

By the way, I'm his fourth wife.

You think perhaps those other women might know a little something about him that I didn't?

Sure. You bet.

Checking his email- something I never did before- I find another cash loan transacted online, of which, he is delinquent.

Oh, here's my surprised look.

"Numerous attempts have been made to contact you regarding this matter."

Uh huh. I'm sure there were.

That explains why he looks at incoming calls on his cell and just turns his phone off.

Oh, I get it now.

"Hey honey, I just want to call and tell you that I'm third in line to pay for my speeding ticket so you won't worry about me."

A notice comes in the mail for a warrant for his arrest.

Why?

Unpaid speeding ticket.

It got just flat out dangerous to stay married to the guy.

We had a huge event last November.

We outsourced assets we did not own.

Some we did, some we didn't.

He shot her a bid so low- I said, "You don't have a profit margin in that. It's not worth it. Don't do it. You shoot her the correct price and let her tell you 'no'."

But he didn't do that.

Instead, he wrote felony hot checks to three vendors to compensate for the way he lacks the balls to really be in business.

The felonies well surpass the line of "I'm a bad money manager" to, "I don't mind being a felon to get what I want."

Sociopathic.

Plain and simple.

How does he pull all these lies and frauds off?

Is he mean? Cruel? Did he slap me around?

Oh, no.

He's the worst kind of con man- because he is kind.

He's charming.

He's polite.

He's well groomed.

He speaks well.

Treats everyone decently- as decently as he can until he puts the knife in your back and twists it.

My general manager told me, "That son of a bitch owes me six hundred dollars and I couldn't pay my rent. He's never paid me right in four years! It got so bad I'd have to go to the bank with him each time he wrote me a check because it'd always bounce."

Why did I not know that about my own staff?

I wasn't allowed to manage them. Not really. He did that too.

When I'd say something about how I was going to do this or that regarding our employees, he'd jump in and say, "No. Don't do that, honey. You let me talk to so-and-so about that."

My general manager told me last week that three of my employees would all sit around and try to figure out how we were making all this money (because they were responsible for collecting balances from our clients) and yet, they couldn't be paid.

And yet, their checks would bounce.

Why?

I have my ideas.

He was such a bad porn addict that he told me eleven years ago- "You will never understand the depth of my addiction. I'd buy magazines and then be evicted because I spent all the money on that and not rent."

A year and half ago- guess who's all up in porn again?

How do I know?

Because you can delete your browsing history all day long, okay?

It STILL registers on your flash drive, moron.

Plus he confessed. I didn't need one, but he did.

The following excerpt is a good explanation of what my life was like:

Many women suffer in silence, telling themselves that their husband's controlling behavior is a personality quirk.They may still have access to joint finances, reasonable mobility and buying choices. They are frustrated by their husband's attitude and behavior, but they don?t live with a gnawing sense of fear.

Financial abuse is different.

It is behavior designed to isolate a woman into a state of complete financial dependence. The most important thing to remember about financial abuse is that the abuser is not out of control. He can, at the drop of a hat, change his behavior to suit the social circumstances. He can be charming and persuasive, but his objective is to isolate his partner and make her dependence on him total.He is deliberately choosing to control his partner?s behavior by cutting off her access to money, mobility and choice.

Financial abuse can often lead to physical abuse as well. It happens within all age ranges, educational levels, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The rich socialite who lives in the largest house in the best neighborhood is as likely to be a victim of financial abuse as the poorest wife in the toughest section of town.

Where do you draw the line?

You may know someone whom you suspect is being financially abused and feel helpless. After her husband went on a physical rampage during an argument about money, a local socialite was rushed to the hospital with multiple fractures. He is the CEO of one of the country's largest financial institutions.

After a brief mention in the local newspaper, the story disappeared from all police reports and press archives. This incident is not unique; it happens more often than we realize.

On the other hand, you may not know that your neighbor, acquaintance or friend is a financial hostage because she won?t tell you. You may know her husband, and never suspect a thing. He's not out of control or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. We might label his behavior difficult, eccentric or unpleasant, but we don't intervene.

The thing to remember about financial abuse is that it functions on a continuum of emotional, verbal and ultimately physical abuse. The abuser's objective is control."

Who does not know about the proverbial frog who, when placed in boiling water jumps quickly out, but heat up the water slowly- will sit right there happy as a clam, until he's cooked to death?

I was that frog.

Finally- how to stop financial abuse?

Go right now and check your bank account.

Go right now, and check your stashes of cash.

Do you like what you see?

I hope you do.

If you don't- as I've always said- if you don't like it- change it.

Take back your life. After all, it really is yours. Not his.

Realize there's three stages to this little act of his.

First phase: You get hooked into the relationship

Second phase: He pulls weird financial shit but you justify it because you love him.

Third phase: The unmasking. Gig's up, fool. I'm on to you now.

When I closed out our accounts I was handed the whopping sum of eight dollars and sixty three cents after eleven years of marriage and three businesses, five a which I handed to a child in my family and said, "Happy birthday, kid."

I asked my banker: "Aren't you glad you are not on the other side of this desk today? Can you imagine?"

"Marilisa, I really can't."

I lost my home. I lost my husband. I lost my finances.

But as you may have noticed- I am sincerely Entrepreneur Chick- if you read me for any length of time, you know that.

I'm going to be fine.

(But I ain't takin' your word for shit no mo.)

Sing it, Christina!

And all HE had was Chickens!

2010-06-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

His name was Frank Perdue, an unassuming man at best. Pretty average.

If he bought me a drink in a bar, I probably would not go out with him.

Oh, I'd drink his drink- maybe dance just one or two slow songs at the most, but then excuse myself from discovering the greatest marketer and visionary that America has ever seen.

Let's be honest. Can you cuddle up to this guy after a few shots of Patron and "Sexual Healing"? I think not.

But as an entrepreneur what you can cuddle up to is the way in which this man, and even his father before him, looked around them to find the every day, ho-hum, humble chicken as something of an extraordinary money making opportunity.

For most of us, that's akin to gazing upon dirt and seeing dollar signs.

Who can make money out of dirt? It's everywhere! Hello, Hoover.

Who can make money out of chickens? They're everywhere! At least, back then they were.

This father and son duo set their minds upon knowing everything there was to know about chickens.

Would you think of feeding them marigold blossoms to the end that your chickens would be a nice color of yellow?

They did.

"It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken."

What does this mean to Entrepreneur Chick?

Well, I do like a tough man and I do enjoy tender chicken; yet in the same way that the Perdues willingly and tirelessly educated themselves regarding chickens, I become dead set in my mission to learn everything I can about the companies I own (one in particular) and become so knowledgeable that not only do I blow my competitors out of the water, I make my clients so successful, why, they'll turn green from all those wads of cash they'll have to cart around!

Now this is the cool part.

My strategy is actually working.

When I meet back with my clients after I have sold them on our services, and after they have reviewed their bottom line numbers and see, sure enough, that those numbers are UP, just like I told them they would be- I feel like I'm floating out of those meetings on a cloud. A big, fat, white, fluffy cloud of ridiculous self assurance (in our company).

Though I wouldn't have brought Frank Baby home to meet Momma, and though I've no chickens, I know exactly how he feels.

In Memory of Emerson; August 15th 2002- April 29th, 2010

2010-04-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

The Power of the Dog

Rudyard Kipling

There is sorrow enough in the natural way

From men and women to fill our day;

And when we are certain of sorrow in store,

Why do we always arrange for more?

Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware

Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy

Love unflinching that cannot lie--

Perfect passsion and worship fed

By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.

Nevertheless it is hardly fair

To risk your heart to a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits

Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,

And the vet's unspoken prescription runs

To lethal chambers or loaded guns,

Then you will find--it's your own affair--

But ... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,

With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)

When the spirit that answered your every mood

Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,

You will discover how much you care,

And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,

When it comes to burying Christian clay.

Our loves are not given, but only lent,

At compound interest of cent per cent.

Though it is not always the case, I believe,

That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,

A short-term loan is as bad as a long--

So why in--Heaven (before we are there)

Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

And THAT kid's an Entrepreneur!

2010-04-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

There's a child in our family, who we will call Isaac. Isaac's mother lost her cell phone last week. She looked high, she looked low- no phone.

"I'll give you two dollars to find your mother's phone", Tony volunteered.

"Two dollars?!" said Isaac with indignation. "Five."

This eight year old apparently knows the cost of a Happy Meal.

It was then that I knew what I had to do.

"I'll give you ten."

"Ten? I can find it for ten."

"I thought so."

No stone was left unturned. No bed unchecked. No couch cushions not flipped.

When those efforts didn't produce, he left the house- I mistakenly thought he'd given up.

"It was in the car!"

"Here's your ten spot."

"THANKS! Hey- can someone take me to the mall?"

"No."

"How about Dollar General?"

"No."

The thing about Isaac is, though I love him to death, he's a difficult child.

He's always taking issue with nearly everything you say, doesn't follow rules much, unless there's a very stiff form of punishment- "Don't make me call your father", gets bored easily, and has his own ideas about how life should flow.

I used to tell him a few years ago, "My, my. For someone who was pooping on themselves not that long ago, you sure are opinionated, kid."

Also, the public school which he attends (Entrepreneur Chick has the dimmest view of pubic schools imaginable) tested him recently, and Isaac was found to be incredibly intelligent, so much so, that they immediately called his mother to report the findings.

Perhaps you would surmise from this story that Isaac is merely motivated by sheer greed.

I do not think so.

Isaac is motivated by "value" and putting a price on what he brings to the table.

As our good entrepreneurial and highly successful friend, Mike, said to us last month;

"You're entrepreneurs. If you just want to make a living, get a job."

Isaac is going to last about ten minutes in a job, and I sincerely hope he figures out that he, like me, is entirely unemployable.

Let's just save all the future bosses out there a lot of trouble.

Actually, he had much more than ten dollars to spend in that he made a deal with the neighbor boy next door.

I know this because our earlier conversation went like this-

"Can you activate my credit card?"

"Credit card?"

"Yeah."

"Let me see what you've got."

Isaac proudly hands me a twenty dollar gift card from the credit card section of his wallet.

"You don't have to activate this. You just go in there and make a purchase and hand them this card."

"Oooooh."

"How'd you get this?"

"I told William he could ride my bike anytime he wanted."

"Ah. Okay. But did you put an expiration date on that?"

"Oh. I didn't think of that! Thanks!"

Now I feel a bit bad for not taking him to the mall.

Look Ma, Another Award!

2010-04-06T17:30:00.000-07:00

Postman started his acceptance speech with what he called, "The Straight Dope", but I decided, in the same spirit, it would be good if I gave you some straight dope of my own as well, so-

One of the reasons I love writing- slash- blogging, is mostly because I have something to say and no real place where it's appropriate to direct those innermost thoughts.

Why's that, Entrepreneur Chick?

Because most of the time, I am way too blunt, pushy, opinionated, and basically crass for humans I actually know in real life- my clients, my potential clients, my employees, and people who seem to think they're my friends- so therefore, I let it all out- like unzipping your fly after a big spaghetti dinner followed by chocolate cake and icecream.

Aaaaaah, that's better.

When someone responds to me being the real me and not the this is how I act at Chamber of Commerce events and church functions where there's no freakin' beer me, I truly do appreciate that.

Besides, I already told someone what I really thought of them last month, and look how dandy that turned out. Freakin' HA.

In summation, Entrepreneur Chick is the real me.

So in celebration or suppression of the real me, ( I leave that to you, my readers, to decide) I accept this award.

And for the person who gave me this award- Postie- as I've come to call him, let me tell you, he and the others I am going to mention are honestly and truly the unexpected three carrot diamond ring dropped in Mc Donald's parking lot.

Who would think to find such treasure there?
:::whispering::: McDonald's is the blogosphere, get it?::::

In another altered state kind of way, I've had the great pleasure to develop friendships with three of these people I'm mentioning,

and the odd thing is,

when I speak to them over the phone, there's this strange sensation I experience like- I don't know who YOU are but I deeply know Pollinatrix, Chloe and Postman.

When you read someone over and over- an automatic, organtic sort of intimacy occurs.

A word about Postman. Something I've never said.

I have a rule. I do. This rule has reliably worked for me in the ten years I've been married, which may appear highly controversial to some but- I do not have male friends. As in, at all.

We have friends that we know as a couple, but so far as having a male friend, no.

I would never call up a guy to talk to him about anything, unless he's my client, and then, well, I kind of have to.

Postman has been my one exeption in ten years- though I can't say I've talked to him extensively. He gives me advice, and is my go to person for all types of things. He'll even be sweet to me about my bugging him to play Face Book games- and giving in, when he's actually incredibly busy. I'm just running a few businesses. That guy is busy!

That said, the five bloggers I'd like to pass this award, based on the fact that they too, are the authentic replicas of themselves, the real deals, or very good liars are:

The Pollinatrix, (The Whole Blooming World)

Chloe, (Fortune Cookies and Men)

Postman, (you didn't say I couldn't!) (The Sententious Vaunter)

Duta, (Places with Character)

Mimi and Tilly, (Mimi and Tilly)

Thank you all for enriching my life in ways you'll never know.

My One Big Fat Non-negotiable!

2010-04-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

Someone telling me what to do is never up for debate. I alone, decide what that will be.

I call my own shots.

If ever I am in a postition that does not allow me to exercise my free will at all times, predictably, that situation is going to end badly.

In somewhat of a heated exchange a few weeks ago, a women said to me, "I don't own this. I'm not free to do what I want."

Well, that's the difference between you and me.

I do own.

I am free to do what I want.

Should I have spoken all my mind, it would have gone like this- I honestly think you're a worker drone ass kisser who has every minute of every day dictated for you by someone else.

There is nothing about your life that I admire, nor would aspire.

I find you uninteresting, room temperature at best, and immediately bland. No spark. No creativity. A big bunch of bleh on a plate.

Everything you do is with the herd. No individuality. And furthermore, if I had it to do over again, I would have played it the same way.

This coming week, Entrepreneur Chick is being interviewed on a radio show- people ask me all the time, "Can anyone be an entrepreneur?"

My answer? No.

If you find that someone telling you what to do is the most distasteful and detestable thing you could possibly imagine- if you've been fired from several jobs for not getting your way, than I'd say you're probably an entrepreneur. With the right type of hard work, vision and grit, big money could be just around the corner in about ten years.

Yes, ten years.

Nothing is easy and nothing is quick.

Here are fifteen other signs that you might access as to how well matched you are at being a true, dyed in the wool, ain't nobody gonna boss you around entrepreneur:

1.Your business is your life and your passion

2.You take action then think about it

3.You don’t like people telling you what to do

4.You dream about your business

5.You always find new ways to do everything

6.You hate small talk

7.You don’t actually read fine print or long contracts

8.You expect things to happen instantly

9.You hate waiting in line

10.You don’t like meetings

11.You look forward to your workday

12.You have a ten minute attention span

13.You don’t read long emails

14.You write short emails and people think you’re blunt

15.You hate hearing that you’re wrong

P.S. I actually enjoy meetings because I always learn something new and more often than not, someone ends up handing me a check at the end.
I expect things to happen quicky, but have learned, alas, that they do not. Slow and steady really does win the race.

Inspiration by Cold Duck

2010-03-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl, I remember there being a great deal of talk about "cold duck" in our house. The conversation went something like this: "Here, have some Cold Duck!" Or, "Yes, I got so drunk on Cold Duck", said my elder sister of nineteen years, " I thought it would only be appropriate for me to crawl onto the table and quack (at the restaurant)- so I did."

She doesn't drink much. Good thing.

Can you imagine?
"What are you in for?"
"Quacking."

If one had one of those days, Cold Duck was the cure. If not Cold Duck, then definitely valiums. (My father owned a pharmaceutical company, giving him easy access.) And if not valiums, than phenobarbital. If not phenobarbital, than one must stoop to Papst Blue Ribbon Beer, only if the Coors were gone. Everyone knew, however, not to combine valiums, phenobarbital and beer.

This could result in an involuntary trip to the asylum on the other side of town- as my brother could tell you, after he went violently crazy and the cops found him hiding, all horror movie-B like, in our attic.

Perhaps some of you remember Little League Games, Girl Scouts, sleepovers, and family sing-alongs. Well, good for you. That was not my childhood.

I was well versed, by age nine, about drugs and the various unpleasant interactions.

Interestingly enough, I was always encouraged never to use street drugs. Those drugs, my mother snobbishly said, "Are what idiots do." Uh. Okay.

Entrepreneur Chick finds that:

"Cold Duck originated in Germany, where it can be traced to the common practice in Bavaria of mixing cold, sparkling Burgundy with bottles of previously opened Champagne. This mixture was knows as kalte ende (cold end). This custom kept the opened bottles of champagne from being wasted, and it also provided people with a tasty beverage at the same time. Over time, the name became transliteraeed to kalte ente, which translates to cold duck. In 1937, the owner of the Pontchartrain Wine Cellars in Detroit, Harold Borgman, invented his own beverage based on this Bavarian custom.

Cold duck experienced a sizable surge of popularity in the early 1970s, being a very popular wine for parties and gatherings. With it's soft concord grape base, Cold Duck is mixed with a combination of sweet red and white wines. The original American Cold Duck combined one part of a California red wine with two parts of a New York sparkling wine. This exact recipe varies today. One of the best known brands of Cold Duck is André, from the E&J Gallo Winery, which uses Concord grapes for their recipe. In 1971, only four short years after André Cold Duck was introduced to the public, the E&J Gallo Winery was selling two million cases of the wine every year. Like many white wines and sparkling wines, and unlike most red wines, Cold duck is best served chilled. It goes great with party hors d'ouvres, like cheese and crackers or olives in a pastry crust."

Yesterday, I decided to try some retro-funk, pre-wine cooler, Duck. And you know something? It was just great!

Everything looks pretty maganable to me today as I've clearly developed a business plan and life plan; "A", "B" and even "C".

And for that, Duck, I sincerely thank you.

I am Not Who You Think I am

2010-03-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

Which begs the question, who do people think you are, but you aren't?

This Blog is Interrupted Due to Flu

2010-03-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

If you came over here and saw all the tissue and popsicle sticks I've been diligently piling up in my bedside trash can, you'd think someone offered me a job paying fairly decent money~

This is day number five.

As Henry David Thoreau said, "Tis healthy to be sick sometimes."

And he even said this with no advantage of Nyquil whatsoever.

"What Would Entrepreneur Chick Do?"

2010-03-13T03:36:00.000-08:00

"It is better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong then to agonize at length and be right too late." Marilyn Moats Kennedy

In a Jam? One Secret Sentence to Tell Yourself

2010-03-04T12:11:00.000-08:00

Entrepreneur Chick is reading a very famous businessman's book over again.

As I read last night, this man was talking about how most people are not really cut out for success in that they can not handle pressure.

If you want to own a business, or you do own a business, one thing that you can count on more than anything else: is pressure.

I'm in a jam right now. That creates pressure.

I'm going to be very candid with you.

I'd love to tell you that when I'm under pressure, why, I just rise to the occasion, never get upset, never get my thong in a wad, never raise my voice, never cuss and say a bunch of things I don't mean-

When I write as Entrepreneur Chick, I ask myself: is that true?

If it is, I write it- if it's not, I don't.

When my jam happened yesterday, my very first reaction was to get angry.

After I got angry, I decided to feel sorry for myself.

"Oh, this sucks. This isn't fair. Why is this happening?"

Anger is a valuable emotion in that it causes me to take action.

Pity is a useless emotion because it causes me to not take action.

I have to literally will myself out of feeling sorry, back to acknowledging my anger, and finally, take some sort of action in order to resolve the situation.

I'm getting much better not ruminating as to why something happened, but rather, what I going to do to solve it.

It's at this juncture I remember something very powerful.

Here's the one secret sentence, I say:

"I am a very creative person, and there are many solutions to a problem!"

I find this sentence gives me the power I feel I've lost, wonderfully back!

I return to the situation with a new attitude, as I am confident a resolve is just around the corner.

Why is a resolve just around the corner?

Because I am a very creative person, and there are many solutions to a problem!

This sentence has never failed me.

Try it and see if it doesn't work for you too.

Doing Business With Giants- Og, the King of Bashan

2010-03-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of Og?

I know, right.

What was his mother thinking when she named him that?

However, Og didn't take guff on the playground because, you see, Og was a giant. A real, live, true giant.

You might be surprised to learn this about Entrepreneur Chick- but I read the Old Testament almost every day.

I'll give you the loosely translated, Readers Digest version of the Hebrew's dilemma.

(Though I only read The King James Version, which is classically beautiful and conveys a thought with fewer words; therefore making it easier to both understand and remember.)

God: Look guys. I'm giving you this land so-

Hebrews: Great! Well, you know, we'll send some spies over first and check out the place.

God: Um...

Later that day-

Hebrews: Gosh, God. It doesn't look so good. Did you KNOW that there's giants over there? Seriously. Giants. We're not so sure that we can beat them.

God: So, you're not sure I can help you out, huh? Does, oh, I don't know- the whole bringing you up out of Egypt with all those nasty plagues visited on Pharaoh and his peeps, and not on you, mean anything?

Parting of The Red Sea ring a bell?

Hebrews: But we like camping! And the manna thing- it's not so bad once you get used to it. We don't want to repeat the whole eat a pheasant and the earth swallows you up, drama.

God: No, see. That's not the deal. Don't think I can't hear you running your pie holes in your tents- you say, "HE brought us out here in the desert so he can kill us and give our children to our enemies for a prey." You're half right! You are going to die out here, those of you who don't believe me. Yep, you're gonners. However, TWO of you will not die, TWO of you will go into the land, and that's... (drum roll please- wait- I'll use thunder) Joshua and Caleb.

Two men out of literally millions went into the land because they had:

FAITH

They had this faith- not blind, stupid faith- but faith based upon historical evidence which denoted that God had been faithful in the past, therefore, HE could most assuredly be counted on to be faithful in the future.

What does this mean to the entrepreneur- if anything?

A Giant's Definition:

Giant: A multimillion dollar company that employs over 3,000- give or take.

You: A small business.

Should you, as a small business, dare to get involved and do business for, a giant?

Yes! If you are:

Aware, But Not Afraid: Be aware of, but not afaird of- how a giant pays.

Do you know how big corporations pay?

They pay on a net thirty, to net fourty five.

It will take you thirty to fourty five days to see your money. Uh oh. Now what? That's going to leave you scrambling to come up with enough cash flow to pay your labor and your materials. What do you do?

Do The Three B's, Babies!

Budget: This is how I manage to beat a whole bunch of odds. I told someone last night, "You won't believe how much money I won't spend!"

I carefully make sure that expenses are kept low and my employees are paid. By doing this, I am buying myself time until the gaint's cash starts rollling in.

Barrow: against accounts receivable. You don't have to- but it's an option.

This is called, "factoring".

Factoring is "a financial transaction whereby a business sells its accounts receivable (i.e., invoices) to a third party (called a factor) at a discount in exchange for immediate money with which to finance continued business. Factoring differs from a bank loan in three main ways. First, the emphasis is on the value of the receivables (essentially a financial asset)[1], not the firm’s credit worthiness. Secondly, factoring is not a loan – it is the purchase of a financial asset (the receivable). Finally, a bank loan involves two parties whereas factoring involves three."

Build: Get your sales staff out there, or you get out there, and build up smaller accounts.

You'll want to do that because they pay quicky, therefore, giving you the necessary cash to keep funding your business and make a profit, rendering the giant a whole lot more pleasant to do business with.

I share this with you today because one of my clients is, in fact, a giant- a national name you'd all be familiar, if I were to share it with you.

Though I am happy as Charlie Sheen at Betty Ford to have acquired this giant, I now have a much better understanding of how one operates- and should you run across of few giants of your own- so will you!

HO, HO, HO~

(I'm quoting the Green Giant now, not Snoop Dogg.)

"For only Og, the king of Basham remained as remnant of giants; behold, his bedstead was a bedstead of iron: is it not in Rabbath of the children of Ammon? nine cubits was the length thereof, and four cubits the breadth of it, after the cubit of a man."

Deuteronomy 3:11

You've Got to Toughen Up- Holla!

2010-02-26T18:54:00.000-08:00

See this fierce looking fellow right here? That's my Yorkie, Eliot, barking at me furiously because I told him, falsely, I think I saw a "kitty cat"!

You're real tough, Eliot, with your Trick R Treat Halloween t-shirt on there, buddy.

I hate to tell you, but the cat would first laugh you to death.

And then he'd claw your eyes out.

But you see, we can all learn something from Eliot.

In his mind's eye, this is how he sees himself, no lie:

You've heard it said that people look like their dogs?

I'm not sure about that, but in attitude, Eliot and I are two peas in a pod.

I'm going to shoot damn straight with you today. Business is tough. Life is tough. People aren't always going to like you.

What are you going to do about that?

I'll tell you what you're going to do about that.

Realize most people have a strong desire to be liked.

Now that you know that, you have an advantage. You drop that strong desire to be liked right away.

Seriously, get the hell over it. Pandering to what other people want you to do, think you should do, tell you to do- will never get you anywhere of consequence. And besides all that, who respects a Milk Toast?

Many of my friends are elected officials in the community where I live.

One told me recently, "It's like this- no one owns me. I vote according to my beliefs. I say, if you don't like it, then don't vote for me- so what?"

And you know something? That guy is the most respected leader out there.

Entrepreneur Chick has mananged to be successful in business because I don't care if you like me or not.

If I did, I probably wouldn't have married a black man.

But I won't start something just for the sake of it.

(Tony loves to say, "Don't start none, won't be none.")

However, after I've been all sorts of gracious, and it has not been met in kind;

I will peg you for the ass you apparently are.

You're pegged. And I'm done.

Pretty simple.

Sales, The Bottom Line

If you're going to be in business, you have to learn to sell. I've never seen one business yet that didn't have its heartbeat firmly established in sales.

As my good friend, and fellow business owner, Greg, observed, "You can make an awful lot of mistakes but sales will always keep you afloat."

Most people can not sell. The very thought of selling something shakes them to the core.

When they (finally) get the prospect in front of them they start to get nervous, start to sweat, start to not listen, and go on and on and on. Would you buy something from a person like this? I'd lay odds, you wouldn't.

Why can't they sell?

What's holding them back?

REJECTION

Being told "no" is too scary.

Again, get the hell over it. As George, my father, who was a consummate salesman loved to say, "You won't die."

Are you open minded?

Then I 'd like you to watch something for a little bit. You might not like it, you might not agree with the lifestyle, you might find it offensive.

But I'll tell you- this is the thick skin I'm talking about.

These people came up from nothing. Nothing.

Do you think these men were told no a few times? Do you think they turned tail and ran, or did they slug it out and come right back- only harder?
You be the judge.

The next time you drive up to a sales call, Entrepreneur Chick wants you to imagine pulling up in your Cadillac Snoop Deville!

You take a cue from these gangsta's swagger and develope a little bit o' yo own-
holla back!

P.S. Both Snoop Dogg and 50 Cent are amazing salesmen and outstanding entrepreneurs. Both of them are so adept, they could sell vodka to Russians.

Get Goaling!

2010-02-24T15:14:00.000-08:00

Now that I have everyone's attention, there is a new website the Entrepreneur Chick has found which has tremendously helped me not just clarify and focus on my goals, as in the oooh, la la photo above, but additonally provides an easy and measurable way, along with action steps, to help insure I meet them!

Reading many of your blogs I see that there's a common theme really, amongst those who seem to have goals, objectives and dreams that they very much want to reach but struggle in frustration, at times, to that end.

In the past, I have always relied on my notebooks- which understandably, is not very high tech; just humble pen and paper- to keep me moving in the direction I want to go.

I have to say it has been effective, and I have reached many of the goals I have set for myself.

The biggest of which were:

(1) Leave sociopathic husband.

(2) Maybe marry someone decent.

After obtaining those goals I had:

(3) Start a business.

Although I've had smaller goals along the way, and certainly every business I started was not a success, those three goals have been the plumbline, the hallmark, the gold standard- of the past ten years.

My current goals?

(1) Increase business sales by a certain amount of thousands every six months until two million a year is reached. (For business number two.)

(2) "Entrepreneur Chick"- the book! Should be completed by October nineteenth of this year.

(3) Radio show! Oh, why not? If I have a book, might as well. I can sell it on the show, invite guests, take callers, that sort of thing.

(4) Eat right and DO NOT EAT AT NIGHT! Eating right is pretty easy for me, but at night, some alien takes over my body and dips my hand into potato chips, forces me to make root beer floats, and other no nos.

Yeah, that's it.

If you have that same problem, here's a little trick I found to help me stop.

When I get hungry, I mix a teaspoon of this in water and drink the whole thing.

If that doesn't work, I do it again.

And now for the site I've been telling you about-

Get Goaling!

And guess what?

It's FREE~

The Sunshine Award!

2010-02-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

This award is "to celebrate the positivity and creativity of our fellow bloggers".
Mimi and Tilly, who's "Art of a Glittery Life" I positively adore, passed this award to me.

I so appreciate and feel honored you thought of me, Mimi and Tilly! Thank you! :)

To accept this award, I must pass this on to twelve bloggers who exemplify the same.

Therefore, in no particular order, I am pleased to share some blogs with you today that never fail to delight me.

Some are brand new to me, just discovered today, as a matter of fact, which is
Decades a Go Go. I can not believe he found a car and bought it, just like my grandparent's Rambler! Congratulations.

Here they are- do enjoy!

The Sententious Vaunter

The Whole Blooming World

Fortune Cookies and Men

Places with Character

Affordable Accoutrements

Colleen Drew Photography

Everyone Goes to Micks

Decades A Go Go

1950's Atomic Ranch House

Pupa Art

Scandalous Housewife

Workforced

The Pollinatrix- Reader's Business Ideas- Part 3

2010-02-19T13:34:00.000-08:00

The Pollinatrix second business idea is very progessive and cutting edge;

"Green Suds Laundromat."

Taos, where she lives, is a tourist town.

The good thing about that is that tourists have dirty clothes and no way to wash them unless, I'd suppose, their hotel offers a laundry service.

On top of that, there's only one other laundry mat in town which is quite inconvenient.

People, Susan told me, will actually drive a whole hour just to go to this particular laundry mat.

But the real deal maker is not only is there an apparent demand for a laundry service, this is not just any run of the mill, business as usual, laundry mat.

As hinted at in the name, "Green Suds" is exactly that.

Green.

You could not do better than being green right now.

Without breaking the business down in such detail as I did in my last post,

let me say more succinctly what I believe the pros and cons of

Green Suds are.

There's a demand (in Toas) and it's relevant.

But after running the numbers I find that owning only one location could prove more time consuming than it's worth; especially given the fact that her other business, Illuminated Manuscripts

is generating cash flow and has such a big potential.

One of not only Entrepreneur Chick's faults, but a fault of entrepreneurs in general is this:

Entrepreneurs incorrectly will spend eighty percent of their time to make ten percent of their money!

We can't even shake a stick at how often I have fallen into this sandtrap.

The carrot on the stick always seems to be, oooooh! But this is NEW.

Oooooh, but I think I can make this work!

Ooooh, it's worked a little, maybe I can make it work A LOT.

Ooooh, no one is doing this like I'm going to do it!

A business associate of mine said once, "Don't worry about being the first. The first settlers were the ones who took all the arrows."

Susan will also need an investor for this. That's a business partner.

Rule of thumb.

Do you know what's good about having a business partner?

Not having one.

It's a joke among entrepreneurs.

Things can get very sticky and legally screwed up with a quickness when another person is involved.

Those of you that have read me for awhile might notice that overall, I'm a very positive, enthusiastic person- which is true.

I, however, become very un-positive and un-enthusiastic when someone is screwing up the business and screwing up my cash flow!

Then I am positively enthusiastic about kicking your ass- so I suppose I'm still positive.

Tony, being my business partner, has my best interest at heart. I know he does.

But there's been extremely heated times, especially in the first few years of owning our businesses, that I not only didn't agree with him, I wanted to rip him a new one!

And I love the guy with all my heart but could, at the very least, kick him in the shins; he made me so mad.

An excellent book, "Let's go Into Business Together" by Azriela Jaffe is an invaluable read for those who are considering that approach.

While there certainly are successful business partnerings and much has been accomplished in the way of invention and commerce, it's true- Entrepreneur Chick's suspicion that far more of these parterings fail than thrive.

High Start Up Costs

Start up costs for a laundry mat and leasing issues are also dicey, making me leery.

Let me give you two examples of business owners that I know personally, who sadly, have fallen on the sword.

The first is an indoor bounce facility who unjudiciously located itself in a retail location.

Bad, bad, idea.

I knew at their ribbon cutting they were'nt going to make it- and I wonder even more about what sort of doofy bank would loan money on a venture like that.

Retail locations are reliant on customers coming in all day long and making purchases.

The bounce house business had over ninety percent of its customers coming in

on weekends only.

Their rent ate their lunch, and in short order- not even making it to their year anniversary.

The other business I'm thinking of bought a franchise, so, theoritically you'd think that they'd last longer and be successful because of the tried and true, proven method.

But no.

These former corporate America employees did not have the business experience to see what needed to be corrected within their establishment, fix it, and generate positive cash flow.

That and a huge road construction project, making the area a nighmare for motorists, took them down.

Did these former business owners just say to themselves, "Oh well. We'll just get right over this and go on"?

While they might have, the sad reality is that those leasing demands to the tune of probably six thousand a month still have to be satisfied.

Let me ask you, if these owners businesses are a wash, where are they going to come up with that kind of cash to pay back that bank loan?

They aren't.

Bankruptcy. Yep. It's unavoidable.

This is again, why I favor a business that has overhead that's so dog gone low, especially if you are a novice, that you can make an awful lot of mistakes and still turn a profit and not go under.

Projected Profits

After some research, here is what a niece said of her uncle's laundromat business:

Earnings of a Laundromat Owner

"I was looking for the answer myself and do not own a laundromat myself but, my research shows that an average laundromat which would cost you roughly $150,000 makes a profit of between 25 and 40 thousand dollars annually. Of course you would have to subtract the payments on the loan that you take out to pay for it. But after the loan is paid, I think you can expect to make about 25 to 40 grand and you actually only have to do about 15 hours of work per week if you want it that way.

My uncle owns 4 laundry mats in the town i live in. It is a very small town. I am positive he makes more then 25 to 40 grand annually. If you want to build a new one you could save thousands in the long run if you knew how to do electrian work and plumbing. I am not sure his exact figure but I can give you an idea how good a life you will have if it is a succesful laundry mat business. He lives on the lake in an over 1million $ house. He drives a Yukon just because he doesn't give a crap about cars. My cousin which is his daughter drives a new 2007 BMW. Recently he bought a brand new Mastercraft x30 paid in cash on the spot. So if you had a succesful one you could make alot of money."

Okay, the neice is not the best communicator, but her point is valid.

Did you notice her uncle owns FOUR laundromats?

Though I understand this is to be a green business, the numbers overall will be roughly the same as a traditional laundromat- start up costs for a green laundromat could be even higher due to more specialized equipment, but by the same token, profits could be even higher due to the savings on electricity over the long haul.

After researching laundromats for sale, those numbers do weigh themselves out.

The asking price of a traditional laundromat is usually $150.000.00 to $200.000.00 and yet the gross generated profit is only about fifteen to thirty grand!

You'd honestly have to own more than one to really make any real money.

Bringing this back to Susan- I believe she can do far better and make far more with her current business, especially if she starts hiring staff as she becomes too busy.

Let's recap.

Pros:

Green

Relevant

Cons:

Business partner

High start up costs

Low profitability

Loan to be paid back

Though I love the idea of Green Suds, from its forward thinking, progressive, enviromentally friendly vibe and groovy atmosphere- the cons tell me that this could be a cautionary tale and to carefully weigh how badly I want it relative to how much I expect to extract.

Entrepreneur Chick's take on all this is simply,

if you really want it, proceed with extreme caution.

P.S. I've told Susan this, and interestingly enough- Entrepreneur Chick's parents also owned a laundromat! My mother created a store from the room on the side and called it, "The Snack Shack", with the characters from the Peanuts Gang on the windows painted by a professional artist. Children would walk home from school and stop by for their candy and sodas. Customers could by snacks as they waited for their wash to finish.
My parents sold the laundromat mostly because of a major highway that was going to cut right in front of their business. Today it's an "Indian Trading Post" in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

The Pollinatrix- Readers Business Ideas- Part 2

2010-02-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

I've had seen through my years in business that usually, one's

treasure is in their talent.

Certainly this has proved true for Entrepreneur Chick, as I actually started all my positive cash flow now simply from the ability to dance well, which I then leveraged into many other opportunities- and I believe it is especially true for Susan. (The Pollinatrix. "The Whole Blooming World.")

Susan's talent is writing, and writing well.

Recently she launched Illuminated Manuscripts, joined her local chamber of commerce, and has begun receiving work.

Let's evaluate Susan's new venture through Entrepreneur Chick's six point success check list, if you will, that was mentioned in the last post.

(1) Is Illuminated Manuscripts relevant?

Oh, heck yes!

Why do I know that?

Susan recently sent me a link to a literary agent's blog, Nathan Brandsford.

Just guess how many followers Nathan Brandford has?

Three thousand and seventy eight!

Those are just his Google followers.

How many other followers/readers do you suppose he has that are not even listed?

I'd say you can safely double that number.

Now we are up to six thousand one hundred and fifty six readers!

Let me ask you- out of that six thousand one hundred and fifty six readers, how many of those writers and aspiring writers write spot on? Write well? No misspellings, no grammatical errors?

Exactly!

Maybe even only two in ten are up for that task.

That's where Illuminated Manuscripts shines.

Besides that particular market, which is writers, on the corporate end of things, actually, it's not much better.

A corporation needs to effectively communicate their message in a vast and confusing market place.

Would you risk millions of marketing dollars with only a nominal command of language?

What about grant writing? Don't even get me started!

So, we can conclude the Polly's business is enormously relevant.

Remember, if you are not relevant, you are not what?

Nothing. That's what.

(2) What does Susan know about the business?

Plenty.

Her graduate studies have been in this field, she teaches on a college level in this field and also made a comment to me, in so many words that, "I don't mean to sound like I'm arrogant but writing is easy for me- a lot of people don't know how to do it, but it comes easy for me."

(3) What's the R.O.I. or return on investment?

Return on investment or: "how much for how much"?

Though I do not know her exact numbers, I can give a fairly accurate "guesstimate".

Susan's start up costs were not large due to her not having to purchase real estate, sign leases, pay a huge staff, meet outrageous insurance demands, consult with all kinds of attorneys and so forth.

What Entrepreneur Chick absolutely adores about a service oriented business is that it is easier to maximize profit because expenses can be kept low, but all the while, the business will continue to grow and expand.

(4) Where is the break even point?

The break even point, you remember, is reached when the costs for starting the business have been satisfied and anything after that is pure profit.

Her break even point, because of her low start up costs and the fact that work is steadily coming in, was reached quickly.

Yet another reason why I like a service oriented business.

(5) How does the business stand out in the market place?

This is a question only Susan can answer.

What does she do that is superior to her competitors?

Could it be a faster turn around time?

Could it be she actually helps you find an agent?

Could it be she specializes in one type of writing over another?

A business should always ask themselves, not only in the start up phase, but all the time- what do we do that's better, different, and more compelling than our competitors?

Remember, average is just that. Average.

No one builds a great business on mediocrity.

(6) What is Susan's projected profits?

This is where it gets really fun, kids.

Running the numbers.

To run numbers, it's essential that we take into consideration the geographic realm of the business.

How far does her customer base reach?

Is she bound at all by a geographic location?

NO!

Susan's clients can be literally anywhere in the world.

What does this mean for her bottom line?

She's going to have one nice, round, hip-hop baby's momma booty, that's what!

Bootylicious if I ever saw it.

My suggestion to Susan for even greater profitability, is when her workload becomes such that she herself, can not meet the demands, she simply hire others.

If you want to make more money you simply expand your system and hire more people.

This is exactly how I make all my income today.

I do not physically work myself.

When people ask me about how much business my companies is generating, and I tell them, they invariably say, "Wow! You must be busy!"

Well, no.

I'm not busy.

My STAFF is busy.

I hire other people to do the work for me and make the deferential.

Basically, I'm a pimp.

Yeah, I took it there.

If Susan would also like to be a pimp, she'll really rake in da dough.

In conclusion, Illuminated Manuscripts has all the earmarks that I look for for success.

If she lived closer, we would so be sippng some bubbly right now!

P.S. I do teach ballroom with a little bit of hip hop thrown in on Monday nights because Greg and Lisa are just wonderful people and fellow entrepreneurs who have a real desire to learn. I do enjoy teaching just a little bit still. Four hours a month, that's all.

Reader's Business Ideas, The Pollinatrix- Part 1

2010-02-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

Pollinatrix, Polly, as I've come to call her, from The Whole Blooming World, who's reliably lyrical and deeply insightful blog that I totally enjoy reading, is also one of Entrepreneur Chick's followers. (As I am hers.)

A few weeks ago, I asked for my reader's business ideas and will feature three.

Those three are:

(1) Susan, (Polly) The Whole Blooming World
(2) Andrew, The Sententious Vaunter
(3) Chloe, Fortune Cookies and Men

Polly's business ideas are:

1. Writing service

2. Green Laundromat

3. Teen Cafe

Very good, Pollinatrix! You do not lack for vision, nor do you lack for diversity.

Looking at these businesses through Entrepreneur Chick's lense of evaluation:

we ask ourselves the following five critical questions;

1. Is the business relevant?
2. What do we know about the business?
3. What is the return on investment or R.O.I.?
4. Where is the break even point?
5. How does the business stand out in the market place?
6. What is my projected profits?

Point five, that I did not mention last time, is very important, which is called the break even point.

The break even point is reached when start up costs for the business have been met and anything after that, is considered profit.

Neither did I mention point six, which is usually how I determine if I'm even interested in a particular business or not, because I always want to run my numbers to get an idea of projected cash flow.

If I see that there's too much work involved relative to low profit margins, or a system that is not replicative, or if there is little to no leverage, I'm not going to be interested in that business.

Starting with those three ideas, in three parts, we will break down Polly's business ventures.

Again, fabulous ideas Polly!

Next time, "Polly's Writing Service".

Chocolate Martinis all Around~ Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

Tony just got back from the liquor store and here's what he bought us!

Six martini glasses, silver drink shaker; which I notice my finger prints seem to already be about so I'll try not to murder anyone tomorrow- and fixin's for chocolate martinis, of which I've had a craving for three days now.

Chocolate Martinis

2 oz Stoli Vanilla Vodka

2 oz cream de cocoa

Pour ingredients into shaker with ice, then pour into martini glasses, drop in a cherry or two or three- I like a lot of cherries-

and...

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

Oh, and you too.

I hear you can only have about two of these before bad things start to happen.

Off the subject of drinking and Valentines, but I wanted to show you what the trees in the back looked like just two days ago.

Mind you, I live in Dallas!

What romantic and delicious things are you doing to celebrate Valentine's Day?

She Remembered her Panties, Blog (I'm Ba-ak!)

2010-02-10T17:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm going to give her points for remembering to wear panties on such an important day; but IS SHE KIDDING?

Did you borrow those bad boys from your grandmother?

In her defense, Victoria's Secret was not around in 1965 and apparently, neither was a nice white lace thong.

Only I can equate panties to blogging, I know. You don't see the connection?

Could be all the meds I've been on, because it's clear that remembering to blog and remembering your drawers

are about the same thing.

Essentials for a happy life.

I'm back. Really.

P.S. Catherine Deneuve is more than a beautiful French actress but she's also quite the entrepreneur- "Deneuve introduced her own perfume, Deneuve, in 1986. She is also a designer of glasses, shoes, jewelry and greeting cards." We can only hope she adds undies soon.

Bleh. I'm Sick

2010-01-29T11:51:00.000-08:00

I didn't want you to think I forgot about you guys~

I miss you!
Wanted to mention it so you wouldn't think I'm a complete blogging flakazoid or something.

I have seven more days of a new antibiotic but I hope to be back before then.

Nothing serious.

I'm curling up with my bed buddy to watch Paranormal Activity.

Probably a mistake.

Oooooh, scary!

Pathetic on a Plate or, Would You Like a Cookie?

2010-01-26T19:31:00.000-08:00

I thought we were having a relationship, baking and cooking and I.

Don't you see how hard I've been trying for you two?

Thought things were going well...

And then this.

Tony called them "sugar nuggets".

Oh, hahahahaha.

You're so funny.

Well, don't you think the plate's kinda pretty?

I'll give ya five bucks to say that plate's pretty and choke down one of my cookies.

If you don't want to do that, you can shellac it and either use it for a paper weight, door stop, or troll doll head (glue eyes and fur).

But you're not getting the five bucks.

P.S. I swear to you that I'm writing about Polly's business ideas next! As you can see, the sugar cookies have not gone well.

Meatless Chili Break

2010-01-24T14:11:00.000-08:00

I realize that we left off last time regarding how to build a business and we

were going to use reader's ideas- The Pollinatrix (Polly) being next.

But Entrepreneur Chick would be amiss if she did not tell you about how yummy,

healthy, and easy this chili is

and how delightful on a cold, rainy, winter night!

Let me be honest first, about one drawback.

Did you think anything to do with a dead cow escaped EC's husband for one minute when the shopping list was placed in his meatloving hands?

Oh no.

He asks, "Hey. Where's the meat for this?"

"There's no meat."

"What?"

"It's meatless."

"What?"

"No meat. Meatless. You use beans."

"Well, what's the point of that?"

I compromised and let him put his meat on the side, only it wasn't so much "on the side" as I noticed he filled up half of his whole bowl and then

added the chili.

I give up.

Nonetheless, you guys enjoy this, especially tomorrow as

January 25th is supposedly "the most depressing day" on the calendar.

Three Bean Chili

• 1 can dark red kidney beans

• 1 can black beans

• 1 can Great Northern or cannelini beans

• 1 can diced tomatoes

• ½ cup frozen corn (optional) I didn't use this.

• 1 Tblsp. chili powder

• 1 tsp. onion powder (I used a half of a real onion.)

• 1 tsp. garlic powder (I used a clove of real garlic, minced.)

• ¾ tsp. cinnamon* (Oops. Forgot.)

• ½ tsp. black pepper

• salt to taste

• Hot sauce to taste (I like Louisiana Hot Sauce)

Directions:

Add all of the ingredients to a large saucepan or Dutch oven. Bring up to a simmer, and cook covered for about 20 - 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve immediately.

We garnished with shredded cheese and rats! I had sour cream just sitting there

in the fridge but forgot that too.

Next time!

(Also, I doubled the recipe as we have two family members staying with us and it served four with one serving left over.)

What's your favorite cold, rainy, (snowy) winter's night meal?

P.S. If the chili wasn't enough to cheer you up, Postman has some wonderful cocktail recipes.

Beginning a New Biz? Check 2 C if U have These Four Super Heros First

2010-01-21T15:35:00.000-08:00

Maybe you've seen this movie and read the comics, but Entrepreneur Chick wants you to think of the Fantastic Four

in a whole new way.

Think of them as your new business associates.

True, you might not take a them to luncheons at the country club,

but their presence is absolutely critical to your new venure's success.

I said, "absolutely critical" to your new venture's success.

Here's your four pointed Super Hero checklist:

(1) Relevancy Girl- See that sexy chick front and center? Think of her as

Relevancy Girl from now on.

If you are not RELEVANT

you are not anything.

Is your venture relevant?

Simply, do people want what you have or not?

Be sure.

The yellow hualking guy behind Relevancy Girl?

That's R.O.I. Dude.

(2) R.O.I. Dude- says "Do the math or I'll hurt you."

"R.O.I." means, "return on investment" or, "how much for how much"?

When I'm considering a new venture, I know really quick if I'm even

interested. If my numbers turn out too low

and the investment too high, I cut the cord.

Do you notice how R.O.I. Dude is bigger and more menacing than the rest?

That's because if your venture's cash flow is puny and slow;

the whole house of cards will surely come crashing down.

Listen kids, it's about cash.

Talk about a better product and service all you want, it always comes down to

a bunch of dead presidents in the end.

See the Super Hero to the left of and behind R.O.I. Dude?

That's Sir KnowItALL.

(2) Sir KnowItALL- wants you to ask yourself what do you truly know about the field you're about to embark.

He'd ask you to do your due diligence or he'll have R.O.I. Dude rough

you up, because as you can see, he's way too much of a pretty boy

to get your blood all over his nice shirt and

manicured nails.

(Do not tease him about his manicure. He's sensitive about that. He likes nice hands, that's all. He's been spotted in the Super Hero Gay Bar a few times, but he swears he was just with "friends".)

And finally, the Super Hero to the back right-

that's StandOut Man.

(4) StandOut Man- insists that your company not be merely average or mediocre.

The company that starts out average or stuggles to stay mediocre will ultimately fail.

Customers have too many choices in the market place.

You're dealing with much more educated and savvy consumers who have

access to all sorts of information.

If your company blows, they'll know about it.

Bad news is a Google click away.

StandOut Man can tell you, when asked why someone should hire him and not the next Super Hero, quicker than a fat kid on a cupcake, the reasons why his company is superior.

How are you differentiated from your competitors?

Let that uniqueness be clearly articulated to your staff,

usually in the form of a mission statement-

and most importantly, communicated

to your customers!

Do you think you have all four Super Heros on board?

Next time, Entrepreneur Chick will be using real-life business ideas from her readers.

The readers are:

Polly- The Whole Blooming World

Postman- The Sententious Vaunter

Chloe- Fortune Cookies and Men

An Award for me but There's Alcohol in it for YOU

2010-01-19T13:03:00.000-08:00

I am honored with another award!

Postman, you're really too much. This is what he said:

Entrepreneur Chick: This witty, fearless lady has multiple business concerns on the go, and is always attending some high-powered function or shindig. She's never at a loss for something smart, funny and feisty to say, nor a pearl of wisdom concerning the business world. If you're a burgeoning entrepreneur yourself, or just want to read about the exploits of a bold and brassy businesswoman, this is the blog for you.

Postie, (as I like to call him now) that was so kind and thoughtful of you.

The funny thing about blogging is that I never expected this.

This being blog friends that I am connected to on a daily basis.

When I wake up and after my coffee in bed, (I always have my coffee in bed. If you are not having your coffee in bed, you are not doing it right) I wonder- what's going on today with Polly and Postie and Chloe and DUTA and so forth.

Here's the rules for this award...

First, make yourself a cocktail, then chose four bloggers who have contributed greatly to the world of blogging.

It's nearly two in the afternoon here in Dallas.

Not quite cocktail time but here's what I would have if it were and where you can order these fine drinks.

Texans are all crazy about these- margaritas! But this one is entirely different in that it's SUGAR FREE. Here's what a party planner recently said about this drink; "And this is the ultimate Margarita mix; it's sugar-free yet it tastes the same as-if not better than- a drink you would make from scratch. I brought it to a party and once the people started complimenting me on it, I told them, 'Can you believe it? It's sugar-free!" Everyone was amazed- I really don't think there's anything better." $5.49 at http://www.bajabob.com/

Party Perfect Apple Martini- The author of The Stylish Girl's Guide to Fabulous Cocktails, Collen Mullaney, loves this particular drink. She says it gets people smiling- instantly! $9.00 at Stirrings.com

Here is Entrepreneur Chick's award recipients:

Chloe: Fortune Cookies and Men- a voice to be heard! She's to the point. She's funny. She's honest. She's Chinese in New York City! And she's gorgeous.

If you need anything more than that, something's wrong with you.

Robin: Budget Girl- "Budget Girl" has been a friend of Entrepreneur Chick's for over a decade now. I always tell her she's " a walking encyclopedia" and the fact that she's blond doesn't seem to stop her one bit.

She has so many tips about fashion, lifestyle, beauty, wines- you name it- all under one pink and snazzy blog.

I'm always asking her- "I have this event to go to- which do you think? Black tights? No tights? Boots? What? Help me, help me!"

And now two new blogs, not new blogs but those that are new to me, that I am utterly impressed with:

Workforced: I received a personal email from the author of this blog, which is how I found about about Workforced, as he liked Entrepreneur Chick, and I must say, WHOA.

Entertaining. Insightful. Hysterical.

Just check this out about "Office Romance" and see if you don't laugh yourself silly.

Mimi and Tilly: who's tag line is, "The Art of Living a Glittery Life".

Oh. My. Goodness.

Just say "glitter" to me and I get all fuzzy and excited.

But glitter aside, the blog is far more than that.

You see, I deeply understand as an entrepreneur that the more creative you are, guess what?

The more money you're going to make!

The embrace of the creative is what attracted me to this blog as found in the excellent profile section...

"A friend once told me that being creative was The Answer. Having had a sit down, a nice cup of tea and a think about this, I've set myself a task. One year to change my life by embracing being creative. There are five rules for me to follow: Rule One: I must only do what I feel excited about doing. Rule Two: I must refrain from writing any more To Do lists. Rule Three: I must share my creative exploits here for the amusement (or not) of others no matter how successful or unsuccessful they are. Rule Four: I must do what my creative instincts are telling me to do no matter how scary it might feel. Rule Five: I must say "Yes!" to my creativity. On 24th August 2010 I will assess if I have found The Answer for me. Follow me as I attempt to see if embracing being creative really will change my life."

I believe you will thoroughly enjoy these bangin' blogs.

Sorry I've Been Gone but I Baked You Some Cookies

2010-01-16T18:01:00.000-08:00

So you want to own some businesses?

Before you do that, think hard about those eating into your blogging time, because they will!

Sorry I've been gone. Everything was unexpected.

First, family dropped in.

Second, staffing issues.

Third, back to back functions I had to attend. (Oooh, the parties!)

Fourth, Eliot, my beloved Yorkie became very ill and is doing okay now, but I was SO stressed out over that.

Fifth, my main computer I enjoy using caught a nasty virus and had taken, by my computer guy, for four days until it was well again.

Sixth, I am learning to cook and apparently that takes more time than to plop something in the microwave and press a few buttons.

But lookie at mah cookies!

Those are Cooking Lite Magazine's heart healthy chocolate cherry oatmeal and they got such high marks, that the test kitchen tasters had a hard time not polishing them off!

Plus, I could understand all the ingredients.
I asked two friends what "chick peas" are and they both laughed at me.
I still do not know what the hell they are. Thanks, guys.

Nonetheless, Entrepreneur Chick thinks she's back and will resume the next few posts by accepting an awesome award from Postman

and also, on the post following, we will resume where we left off last time, which is getting back to building those business ideas of yours!

Do You Know how to Swim? Then You Know how to Start a Biz!

2010-01-08T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure where the idea crept in that goes something like this-

I want to start a business. I should bite the bullet, quit my job cold turkey and start one!

Or, I'll wait until I get fired and get so desperate, I'll do something about starting a business then.

As if there is a greater air of legitimacy when one is stepping out in blind faith, hoping against hope that things will be all right for no good or apparent reason.

The art of starting business is controlling risk.

That's a stupid risk.

When you learned to swim, I bet no one violently threw you, kicking and screaming and horror stricken, off the side of a fishing boat into a deep murky lake, did they?

(For those of you living in Louisiana and Arkansas, forgive me. I hear that's how y'all learn.)

I'm asking you now, to go back in your mind and think about how you learned to swim.

Go ahead. I'll wait...

Of course you did!

You just said to me, "I learned a little bit at a time."

That, boys and girls, is the very, very same way you're going to start a successful business.

A little bit at a time.

Entrepreneur Chick's mother was a beauty queen.

Here's how beauty queens teach their daughters to swim.

First of all, there's absolutely no getting wet.

Getting wet will mess up your hair, it will mess up your make up, and everyone knows a swimming suit is only for looking hot and sexy, certainly not for swimming.

Elizabeth carefully spreads her beach towel by the side of the pool.

She lights a cigarette. Adjusts her sunglasses. Exhales with a certain unidentifiable annoyance and says to me~

"Okay kid. Here's what I want you to do."

"Okay!"

"First of all, hold your breath like this- and stick your face down in the water and hold it there a few seconds."

"Like that?"

"Yeah, like that. Now I want you to stick your face in the water but lay down in the water on your stomach and move your arms like this..."

"Like that?"

"Yeah, like that. Now I want you to stick your face in the water, lay down in the water on your stomach move your arms like I just showed you and kick your feet like this..."

"Like that?"

"Yeah, like that. Now you know how to swim. Don't bother me any more; I'm reading."

Are you ready to start of business?

Here's what Entrepreneur Chick wants you to do.

Write down a few business ideas that you have.

Go ahead, write them down.

Don't edit yourself, just write.

If you have ten, write ten.

If you have one, that's awesome too.

Now leave them in the comment section or email me, and next time, I'll show you how to, a little bit at a time, get started using your very ideas.

Let's make some cabbage, guppies!

Don't Cheat on Your Husband, but Definitely Cheat on Your Boss

2010-01-05T04:17:00.000-08:00

Or his boss or the boss in general.

It would be amiss for one to line up an extra spouse, you know, just in case the current one doesn't work out.

However, I wouldn't think twice about lining up some side action when it comes to a boss.

In case things don't work out.

Because, I don't want to be the one to tell you this but someone has to-

things seldom work out.

Perhaps in the 1950's there was such an animal as "job security", but those happy golden days are long gone the way of poodle skirts and bobby socks and gold watches given for twenty five years of loyal service.

Times, they are precarious, no?

Entrepreneur Chick has exprienced the happy good fortune of doing what was right even though, at the time, I wasn't aware of how good my choices were relative to this cheating idea.

August fifteenth, two thousand and three, was when my husband actually walked away from his job that he was most certainly bound to lose anyway.

Why was he bound to lose it? Was he a bad employee?

To the contrary, after significant downsizing in his company and after they had fired over two hundred people, and kept but one- my husband was the one they retained.

However, the handwriting was on the wall and we knew it was only a bleak matter of time.

Unbeknownst to Entrepreneur Chick, while her husband was hard at work, she was also hard at work, quietly building up an asset base- to the end that, when the day came to make the inevitable break,

because of the income stream still coming in from the asset,

we could transition to paying our bills, have someplace to live, and keep up that pesky eating habit of ours.

Since that time, I've understood more clearly the reasons why it's important to have something else going on and have focused on that.

The biggest risk you can take these days, is not to take a risk at all.

People ask me all the time- I want to start a business, I think I should start a business, what should I do?

My answer?

Take any sort of positive action to that end.

You can always modify it later.

As I don't know you, I don't know your situation; but I do know the job market.

I'd lay odds you can come up with something much better than that hill of beans if you put your mind to it.

More next time about how to break into owning your own business!

A Few Glimpses of My Pretty Much Sober New Year's

2010-01-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

I only managed to pull out the camera after midnight.

Sorry about that.

A lot of people already left.

I'm afraid I don't have any pictures of the conga line that snaked through

the house,

the Cha Cha Slide, the Cupid Shuffle, the Macarena,

Shake Your Tail Feather,

the Hustle or the really cool swing dance we did either.

But passing Elizabeth, our D.J. ...

and while everyone else was still downstairs...

I was summarily greeted by this Merry Fellow...

keeping a round the clock vigil over this...

"Ooooooh, score!" gushed Entrepreneur Chick.

"Not so fast."

"Huh?"

At first I couldn't tell just where the demanding, pushy little voice was coming, but upon

closer inspection...

"What happens when you mix your drinks?" asked Magic SinkLizard.

"I throw up."

"Right, you throw up. Is that how you want to start the New Year off like you did three years ago and barfed from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. like you had a job?"

"No sir."

"You can have some, but not all. Understood?"

"Okay."

"Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year to you too."

But once downstairs, it all got a little hazy-

this guy seems to know me.

Who are you again?

What'd you say I said?

Dude, you didn't listen to the Lizard, did you?

When is it my turn to ride the guests?

It didn't matter anyway because The Poodles said it was time to go...

"Take another picture of me and I'll bite you."

Dear God, please make Entrepreneur Chick go away...

Well, Poodles, I have news for you.

When there ain't no cake,

ain't no party.

I was leaving anyway.

Happy New Years~ 2010!

2009-12-31T05:10:00.000-08:00

Entrepreneur Chick wishes everyone a very happy, safe, blessed New Year's Eve!

We are going to a big birthday New Year's Eve bash for one of our dear friends, and an outrageous entrepreneur who I always learn something from.

How are you guys celebrating?

Happy Anniversary Baby! It's the big 1-0!

2009-12-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

And my poor baby- he loves only one thing after he loves me, which is the Dallas Cowgirls. (Okay, "Cowboys". I don't like 'em.)

Here he is, on the Board of Directors of the Chamber of Commerce, of which I am ecstatically proud of him, at our city wide Chamber of Commerce luncheon in October with the stadium behind him- and no turf!

How you gonna do us like that, Cowboys? That stupid lunch was three digits and no turf? You have some nerve.

But back to my man.

This is a man. My man.

The thing I like best about Tony is: he behaves the very same way in public as he does in private.

What you see is what you get.

He's the most good natured, kind hearted, tender, thoughtful, genuine, intelligent, deligent in business person; and he's a hottie!

Want to see what I mean?

This chick didn't know that she was also in the picture:

Chloe said she's like, "Yum, yum gimme some!"

I have the full package with this one, and boy, do I ever know it.

In a moment, we are going to do our anniversary "tradition".

And in a moment, we are going to have the same anniversary arguement.

There's a waltz called, "The Anniversary Waltz", which we do every year. It goes like this:

Me: Baby, let's do the anniversary waltz now.

Tony: Brothas don't waltz.

Me: Yes they do.

Tony: No they don't.

Me: Well, you're going to waltz.

Tony: Yeah, you know, I hear this conversation all the time, 'Yo, dawg! What'd you do last night?"

"Dawg, it was off the hook! We went out waltzing man!"

Me: I'm putting on the song now.

Tony: Brothas don't waltz.

This video is a fitting tribute in that, every time I ever hear this song, I think

that's Tony.

Every word.

I tell him sometimes,

"I don't think a wife ever loved her husband more than I love you."

Happy Anniversary, baby.

Okay, I Got it! Can U?

2009-12-28T06:01:00.000-08:00

At first this looks to the untrained eye, to be a massive glump of unmatching choreography- but it's really not.

The key to mastering this dance hinges on two primary things:

(1)You absolutely must change your weight as you dance.

(2) Understanding the dynamics of a ball change step (in tap) as it repeats itself so often- is a big, fat plus.

If you were here, gentle readers, I could easily show you how.

First take a look at how utterly sharp this looks:

Now, for a closer look as to how it's done, try this:

Another good way to learn, is don't start from the top.
See when the dancers turn around and face the back?
You be "behind" them. That way, it's much easier to follow when you are facing the same way, and on the same foot,
since, afterall,
we are not in the studio.

Take small sections over and over until you master them.
Only then, move on.
By doing that, you are working on what I am SO big on in class-
MUSCLE MEMORY!

Muscle memory is what occurs when you are so fluid with the step,
that as you dance, you find you do not even have to think about it!
Dancing just happens!

But just in case you need more help, here is the instructions from the top- enjoy!
(By the way, the music is "I Feel Fine" by Mary J. Blige)

LF - step forward and back 3x

slide right, slide left, slide right

LF - shuffle left 3 counts

Cross LF over RF, alternate 7 counts

slide right, slide left

***LF - point left, tap in, out-in-out

Tap right, tap left, Tap right, tap left

Right knee, left knee

RF half turn, half turn

RF kick front, then back

Body roll, 2x

LF, cross RF, tap left, step back, right-left

Cross RF over LF, alternate 7 counts

slide left, slide right

RF - point right, tap in, out-in-out

Tap left, tap right, Tap left, tap right

Left knee, right knee

LF half turn, half turn

LF kick front, then back

Body roll, 2x

(RF, cross LF, tap right, step back, right-left

LF, cross RF, tap left, step back, right-left) repeat this sequence

LF tap out, RF tap out, turning to the LEFT

6 counts, then body roll

LF tap out, RF tap out, turning to the RIGHT

6 counts, then body roll

LF tap out, RF tap out, turning to the LEFT

6 counts, then body roll

LF, cross RF, tap left, step back, right-left

RF kick front, RF kick side, half turn to the right and RF step back

START OVER!

Note: After 3rd rotation, start from (***)

The last rotation is "slide left, slide right" END OF DANCE

Would you be Willing to Fail 17 Times to Make Millions?

2009-12-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

You could look at it like that. Or, you could look at it from the standpoint that it took me seventeen times to get it right.

We had an eye opening exercise this morning. Wouldn't it be fun to list all of the businesses we've started in the past ten years? As we have, on December twenty ninth, been married ten years.

Out of this list of twenty, three were (are still) producers.

Of the three, one currently produces six figures.

Of the two, only one (will produce) millions.

Looking back over our list, Tony inquired, "What does this tell you?"

"It tells me that this is why people buy franchises!"

Some of these businesses never made it past the idea stage, while others have taken considerable time and cash lay out. I won't say which is what, but here is the list. As you can see, I don't lack for a stinking idea, do I? Diversity doesn't seem to be much of a problem either.

Moving company
Marketing company
Nutricuetical company
Dance company
Energy deregulation company
Entertainment company
Real estate holding company
Weight loss management company
Aloe vera products company
Entertainment company #2
Talent Agency
Funeral Event Agency
Inventions: weighted walking vest, inflatable camping supplies, dog bicycle trailer
Restaurant: in which you only get the proper calories for your body/age/gender
Art company
Radiant barrier company
Pimp My Minnow (parent company of Pimp My Worm) fishing industry company
Marketing company #2
Photography company specializing in high end model-esque effects
Entertainment company #3

Carolers From Da Hood

2009-12-20T14:08:00.000-08:00

"Where'd you get them?" asked Amy.

"Cracker Barrel." I replied.

"You got them at the whitest place on earth?! "

"They were on sale."

"You think?"

Amy went on to explain that she knew, most likely, what had happened.

On the order form, where the buyer from Cracker Barrel was supposed to check-

101: White Carolers

102: Black Carolers

"102 Black Carolers" was inadvertently marked. A big, "M'bad", from Da Barrel, the result.

Yet to save the day, along comes a mild mannered (except for me) interracial couple.

Tony has always commented, "We need to get some pictures of some black folks up in here."

Me: Do you say "up in here" because we live on the second floor?

Allison: Oh my God, Tony. They don't make 'em any whiter than that, do they?

Tony: No. They don't.

But that was ten years ago. A lot has changed.

I know some stuff.

People often mistake me for being white, that's how much stuff I know.

For instance, I know that those carolers are really standing in front of an ignited trash barrel to stay warm.

I bet you just see a red tea light from Pier One, don't you?

Uh huh.

White.

How I am Spending the Christmas Holiday

2009-12-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

I baked three gingerbread cookies from a pre-made mix, which said clearly, "Do not consume raw cookie dough", but I decided they didn't know what they were

talking about

and did it anyway.

I feel great.

Then:

I watched "It's a Charlie Brown Christmas"

and took a nap.

If my life gets any more exciting, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Do You Think This Girl is Dead? Or, How to Tell if Your Business Is

2009-12-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

This girl has been the subject of much debate. Is she dead or is she not?

What do you think?

Why, you might be asking, would you think she's dead, for heaven's sake!?

Back in the 1800's, though we would find the practice perfectly morbid today, families who lost loved ones routinely engaged in

postmortem photography.

This is Ebay's description of her:

"You are bidding on an ANTIQUE Possible Post Mortem, CABINET PHOTO depicting a Lovely Young Victorian Lady. TO ME, She Looks Dead. Please check out all my PICS, and see what you think. To me, she looks like she's propped up on this chair. Her left arm is very limply just hanging there. Her eyes are closed, her head hanging down. I don't know, to me it looks eerie. I don't think she's alive, but I COULD BE WRONG!! Photographer was Ph. W. Lenz, Dubuque, Iowa."

Guess how much she went for?

One hundred and forty seven dollars!

The following are opinions as to her macabre state.

"I believe she is dead for several reasons the seller did not include in her description", says Footmaven at the Grave Yard Rabbit's Association.

[1] The position of her legs. Women of the day did not sit with their knees that far apart. The right leg is turned at an awkward angle.

[2] Her dress is stuffed under her thigh. A lady would not sit for a photograph with her skirt stuffed under her. Photographs were expensive and the sitter as well as the photographer wanted them to be perfect. Women were represented in the most genteel pose possible. This is not a genteel pose.

[3] I also agree with the statement that the arms hanging down appear to be awkward. Very unladylike. The eyes look dark and sunken.

In response to Footmaven, other people said:

"I took a good look at this photograph and I also believe she is dead. Post mortem photographs are not unusual. They take many forms - lying in bed, lying on a couch, in a casket, or a previous picture placed in a scroll on a memorial card. I have not seen one of an adult propped up in a chair."

Sally J. said...

"Like you, Maven, I've never seen an adult post mortem photo where the subject is propped up in a chair. Casket or bed, yes. On the other hand, I've seen enough post mortem baby photos to last a lifetime. Is there anything more heartbreaking?

Her fingernails look black to me. Or is that just my imagination?"

Becky said...

"Totally creepy. Yep, I think she's a goner too! Not a very flattering either ;-) I don't think I've ever seen a post-mortem picture of an adult though I have of small children and infants. Gives me the weeby-jeebies just looking at her. If ya can't take a picture of me before I die, don't take one afterwards either!!!"

And Entrepreneur Chick's favorite-

Thomas MacEntee said...

"Deader'n a door nail as Scrooge once said. I also find that the arms appear a bit puffed.

Or could it just be that her corset is a wee bit tight and she has momentarily passed out?"

Now what do you guys think?

Dead? Alive? Corset faint?

I have a theory that no one has asserted yet.

What if she is merely changing poses and the photographer caught her in between?

Happens all the time!

This would explain the looking down. This would explain the awkward leg positioning. BUT, it would not explain the limp hand. It would not explain the slight edema of her arms.

Sooo, now I'm back to thinking she's dead.

While we will never be entirely certain of this girl's morbidity, what we can be certain about is a dying business.

That's so easy.

You're business is dead if:

There ain't no new sales!

This is How I Think, Enjoy!

2009-12-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

Crazy for Christmas?

2009-12-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

As children we all learned this- when we see a hot stove, do we put our hand on the burner?

No!

As adults, have we all learned this?

When we see a crazy lady, do we be her friend?

No!

While sitting innocently enough at my friend Jamie's martini bar, at first I thought "Amanda" was Marge's friend; therefore I was quite nice and treated her graciously, as I would anyone.

When I began to notice Amanda, in her black and red leopard print bling-bling infused blouse, full of random "fucks", "shits" and "mercy!" was something of a whackjob, I casually inquired,

"So Marge, how do you and Amanda know each other?"

"Oh, we don't. I was sitting here and she pulled up a chair."

But the deal was, Amanda was 73 if she was a day, and I have been taught to respect my elders. I continued to be congenial even when she, rather in a drunken state asked-

"Who are you really, Mary?"

(Amanda is from England. She refused to say my name correctly at all, because, "It is far too long.")

"Who am I really? I'm an entrepreneur."

"So what. And?"

"And I can take you or leave you."

"Oh, jolly good! In that case, I'd like you to come over to my home after this. We'll open a bottle of wine and put on some music. Will you come?"

Even though she liked Miles Davis and John Coltrane and had a great copy of Dorothy Parker and her husband died four years ago and she's very lonely and she owns a bangin' sea green Christian Dior hat from the 1960's perfect for our Retro Dinner Club, and "Don't fuck with me- I have so much more money than you do", she said for no apparent reason- I've seen enough of this personality type to know that it's not a match.

I do not have the skills needed to cope with toxic people, nor do I feel I should develop the inclination.

Here are seven signs you're dealing with someone who will never have your best interest at heart.

Just in time for all those family gatherings this time of year, huh?

Give your crazy, drunken, nasty joke telling in front of your children uncle a few smooches from Entrepreneur Chick.

My December Funktification

2009-12-12T12:10:00.000-08:00

It happens every year. You know how the last day of school can't be taken seriously?

You know how the last couple of days before the last day of school can't be taken seriously?

And how, pretty much the whole week before the last day of school can't be taken seriously?

There's important things I could truly be doing for my companies.

But you know- the pretty lights, the parties, the cold weather, the parties.

I feel myself slipping further and further away into "Deck Them Halls", Monkey Munch, egg nog, gingerbread, pumpkin bread, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, you're such a blockhead, Charlie Brown! and have you done your shopping yet? So who honestly cares about meeting fourth quarter goals and cash flow? In fact, what's wrong with you, GrinchFace, that you would even bring it up?!

Meh. It's Christmas time!

How Not to Lose a Good Employee

2009-12-10T11:10:00.000-08:00

I love this girl! Everything I ask her to do- "Shawnna, I need you to go over here and do this."

"Okay."

"Shawnna, I need you to go over here and be here at this time and do it like this."

"Okay."

And not only does she do what I ask, she does it right and I know she does it right because she gets good reviews and all my clients love her.

You might think with unemployment rates so high it must be very easy for me to get quality employees, but that is not the case. It's not. Additionally, for two of my companies, a very specific set of skills and aptitudes are required, one of which is the abiltity to be able to speak in front of people. There are two fears that most people have-

(1) Death

(2) Public speaking

This lowers my hiring margins considerably, and not just any warm body will do. It is imperative that I hire talent.

So when Shawnna sent me an email two weeks ago that read, "I regret to inform you.." I knew what I was in for. Oh, boy. I'm losing her. While she loved everything about her job and "appreciated everything you've done for me and the opportunity you've given me... and I hate that it has to end", her family, it seems, did not want her to travel as far as I need her to travel.

My first response was, which I emailed back: I completely understand and you always have a place with me.

My second response was, and this is the unprofessional thing that you do not say, which I touched upon last week- I thought I was hiring YOU and not your FAMILY for crapsakes.

And then it came to me. What am I?

An entrepreneur.

What do all entrepreneurs hate?

My mother always said, "Lisa, you never could tolerate being told 'no'."

You see, things don't go as smooth as silk in business. When you ram right up into a brick wall and it looks like a 'no', you tell yourself- all right, maybe it won't work like this but I just bet it might work like that.

"Shawnna, how about I offer you more money?"

"What do you have in mind?"

This also, is a enormous principle upon which I run my companies:

Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.

I bumped her up from where she was with the staffing company, which was less, to $25.00 an hour. Plus I sweetened the deal and told her I want to hire her to train new employees. She liked this idea and is happy with the new arrangement.

I am not going to miss at all, the additional money I'm paying her.

It's worth it to me, to pay someone more, than it is to start from scratch with someone who's unproven.

My companies are only as good as the people in them, and you better believe Entrepreneur Chick knows that.

I Pop it, 'till I DROP IT!

2009-12-08T15:51:00.000-08:00

For all of my homie hip hop readers out there, such as myself, I am not refering to Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It".

This is Brittny (red Santa hat) and me doing that exact dance.

What you don't know is that I am laughing hysterically making my eyes squinch like Renee Zellweger, due to the following conversation:

Me: Brittny, let me up!

Brittny: Hmmmm... no.

And what you don't see is that I have on some way cute, Nine West, three inch stacked ankle straps, trying to balance us both. One second later we fell on our cute little...

AND I CAN'T SAY IT!

I have a rubberband on my wrist. Anytime I cuss or complain, I must pop myself equal to the number of infractions.

No one told me to do this. I decided I needed to take radical measures- otherwise I might end up like my Grandmother Edna, who was a one woman off Broadway show- launching into long, rambling discourses about her latest medical misfortunes.

All she needed was a few dance numbers and a Playbill.

If you'd like to know what I complain the most about, upon your next trip to the drug store, just pick up a bottle of Midol and read the list on the back of the box.

The first ten minutes I wore my rubberband, I violated the rules five times.

Three for cussing. Two for complaining.

I'm explaining, on the phone, this to Amy:

"I said "sh*@", "FU#@" and "as*#$@*."

"Who were you mad at?"

"Nobody."

Later in the day, I'm explaining, on the phone, this to Allison:

"I said, "sh*@", "FU#@!", and "as*#$@."

"You said "sh*@", "FU#@!", and a*#$@?"

"Yes."

"Well," she asks all Cheshire Cat like- "aren't you supposed to pop yourself now because you just said it again?"

"DAMN!" I say, because now I have to pop myself.

And then I go: "DAMN!" a second time and cover my mouth, because I remember "damn" is a cuss word.

"DAMN!" spews forth a third time because my mouth apparently has a mind of its own. I can't seem to stop myself. I'm filled with regret, realizing I now have to pop myself SIX times.

Do the math.

See?

I pop it 'till I drop it!

And to all my very pious readers, I've a question:

What word starts with an "F" and ends in a "CK"?

"Firetruck", you perverts.

P.S. I know some of you are concerned that I should not be doing that dance in the dress I was wearing, which looked like this, only with white piping down the sides:

But it was a private party and everyone there already knows I'm crazy, wild, nuts?

Is "intoxicated" the word you're looking for?